It's A Wonderful Life

Grammie

2011-01-29T11:50:00.000-08:00

It is altogether fitting that on the day in which Grammie was honored for her life's works that her Lord would welcome her into her Heavenly reward as well. Never have I had the honor of knowing an individual more worthy of respect and admiration than Donna Gentry. If there was a cause to which she felt passion, then with all of her being she pressed onward in pursuit of her goal. Grammie, with the help of my Papaw, raised 4 supremely rambunctious and mischievous sons into good, hardworking men. She coralled and trained up grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Donna Gentry was created to fight for the lives of the unborn, and the vast majority of her life, time, resources, emotions, and faith endeavored towards that end. It is with certainty that I can say that Grammie singlehandedly saved lives, countless lives. My faith, my character, my values, my morals, and my principles have been derived from the example that she has set. I would not be the woman that I am today without her presence in my life. My words are a meager and inadequate attempt to convey the depths of my love and reverence for the woman that I called Grammie. It is my most sincere hope that my life, that my daughter's lives are a proud reflection of her example. To Grammie I say "See you Someday", but not good bye...May those of you who knew her personally be comforted as you share in our loss.

Trophy-Wife-In-Training: Rise and Shine!

2010-11-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day."

Meaning:

Could this verse have been written any more plainly? There truly is nothing to decipher, yet I know that if you are anything like me, you cringed a bit when you read it. I'd like to know the woman who is dedicated enough to be up before dawn each morning with a hot breakfast awaiting her family. This 'Wonder Woman' also has each day's events mapped out and planned. The truth of the matter is that as much as we want to skim past this verse, God desires us to be more like this woman.

Summary:

I'm an early riser by nature, but by no means am I up before dawn (unless my 9 week old decides otherwise). I am one of those odd creatures that truly enjoys the morning, yet I confess that I'd be hard pressed to find the motivation to rise before dawn. I believe that while it may not be truly necessary to be up before the sun that it might be prudent to make an effort to start our day a little earlier than what most of us would prefer. I think the focus and intent of this verse is that a godly woman makes a conscious effort to start her day and that of her family on a good foot. By getting up early, or earlier than our loved ones we have the opportunity to set the tempo and mood of the day. This week I challenge you to start your day 15min. before your husband or children. Use that time to pray, read the verse above, have a cup of coffee, make breaksfast for your family, write a love note to your husband, etc. I would venture to guess that we would all find a change in the hearts and attitudes of ourselves and our families. Also try to have a clear plan for your day, for your week. I'm going to try to make my week look a little like this:

Monday: Errands

Tuesday: Clean House

Wednesday: Play day with my girls/ homemade supper for John

Thursday: Laundry

Friday: Play day with my girls/ homemade supper for John

Saturday: Grocery day

Sunday: Sabbath

I think that we would find ourselves feeling greatly accomplished if we could check off our goal at the end of each day, and through that our family feeds off of our positive attitude. I challenge you to try these two things this week: 1. Get up 15min. early 2. Have a plan for the day.

Let me know what results you find!

In Christ's love and mine,

Bri

Trohpy-Wife-In-Training: Get Crafty!

2010-11-09T10:28:00.000-08:00

"She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises."

Meaning:
There's not a whole lot to decipher in this section. First and foremost the first 3 words stand out to me; "She shops around..." (I confess I may be reading more into this than necessary, but I think I'm on to something). I think that this is an admonition to not simply stop at the most handy place, but to make the effort to search for quality items at the best cost. In other words get the most for your money. I'll venture so far as to also say try to endorse the businesses of the good and godly...support those as often as you can. Many Christian mothers are bringing income to their families through at-home business, buy from them if you can. Some doctors are taking a stand as treating their patients based upon Christian values, entrust them with your care. These types of things may require extra effort on your part, but do make a difference. Moving on...this biblical trophy wife is a creative and crafty lady. She takes precious little and makes useful, and I'm sure, beautiful items. Not only does she make things for her family...she enjoys doing so. Two things jump out at me here: 1. Making things for your family is far more fulfilling than buying them. There is fulfillment and pride in making something from nothing. We modern day women, who boast of such accomplishment and equality, would greatly disappoint our feminine ancestors if they could see how many of the traditional skills we lack. Why cook from scratch when you can microwave? Why sew, when you can buy? Why grow a garden and put up vegetables when they come in a can? I believe that we have lost the honor and pride that comes with being a resourceful woman. It's far easier to swipe a card than to put a little elbow grease into creating something of our own. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with doing things the 'modern way', but I am saying that I believe that if we return to the old ways of doing things that we will find ourselves more fulfilled. 2. The tasks we perform as wives and mothers should be labors of love, not labors of grumbling. What comes from our mouths is the overflow of our hearts. If we do our duties with positive loving attitudes that will be visible to our husbands and children. My husband will not enjoy his home cooked meal nearly as much if I spend the entire dinner complaining over the amount of effort it took to create it. Find enjoyment in your wifely duties...you are serving not only your family but your Father in all you do...even the little things.
The final part of this scripture talks about how the woman sails faraway and brings back exotic surprises. Think outside the box, do the unusual...your family will appreciate the effort. Try a new meal, make a special scrapbook for your children...Show your family that you go out of your way just for them.

Summary:
I am not a crafty person by nature, but I am good at stealing the creative ideas of others. For Christmas last year I got a sewing machine and have been putting it to good use since. I've made blankets for my girls, curtains for my windows, and etc. I have found great joy and fulfillment in knowing that I have the ability to create these things. My husband is proud of me too, he shows of the things that I make as though it is an extraordinary accomplishment. I try to make at least 2 home cooked, from scratch meals a week, and to his credit, John always notices and appreciates them. we have also begun trying to give our business to the 'good and the godly' as often as possible, and this has proved a blessing to both parties. Something "exotic" that I am working on are life journals for each of my girls. This is my life story written down to give to them on their 16th birthdays, and it will take that long to complete them. It's my hope that they will see through this gift how very precious they are.

My goal is to continue doing more and more in these areas, and to try to use these skills as a ministry. Cook meals for a new mom, make a special Christmas dress or gift for someone who might not be able to buy one. I encourage you to try some of these things, I promise you will be blessed by the accomplishment of a task that has an easier alternative. Please share how and if this blesses you as it has me.

In Christ's love and mine,
Bri

Trophy-Wife-In-Training: Let the Games Begin!

2010-11-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

"A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long."

Meaning:
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the gist of this first verse. A good woman, a truly godly woman, is a rare find. A woman of this caliber is of such rarity that her value is more precious than diamonds. The result of this type of character and integrity in a woman is that her husband totally and completely trusts her. The scripture says that he does this "without reserve". There is not a point at which her husband feels the need to rein in his trust in her. He can give her complete access to finances, because he knows she will not blow it on a shopping spree. He can let down his guard and be vulnerable with her, because he knows she will not think him silly or weak for his worries. This husband can depend upon his wife because she never lets him down. This woman's vast integrity causes her husband to be continuously grateful that he chose her...he does not wonder if there might have been a better option out there somewhere. Don't nag! A spiteful (hateful, vindictive, nagging, complaining...you can see where I'm going) wife will drive away her husband. This is not to say that we cannot have a spat now and then with our men, but I believe this means we must pick and choose our battles. Finally it says we must be generous to the men in our life. Personally I think this means several things. 1. Give of yourself to your husband. It is easy (especially when we have children) to give to everyone around us and at the end of the day have very little for him. Keep your husband #2 in your life, children #3. 2. Be generous with understanding. Men do not think the way we do, be patient and understanding. He may not realize that you did your hair a different way (just for him), that PMS is a real and chronic condition, or that the dishes in the dishwasher should face the middle not outward. Let him off the hook now and then, he doesn't think about or understand these things. The final part of all that is that he deserves this type of treatment "all your life long". Getting to the 20th anniversary doesn't mean that we have suddenly reached the point of no return. He deserves your best every day, every year, every decade...just like you deserve his.

Application and Challenge:
Be worthy of your husband's trust, even in the little things. My Example of Trust: There have been times when I have conveniently "lost" receipts. Why? I bought all the groceries like I ought to...and 3 books. (I have a weakness for books) Big deal right? Wrong, it is a big deal...that added $30.00 to a budgeted grocery bill. Would John have really cared? No, not if we could afford it that week. The point is that that kind of behavior is dishonest, sneaky, and conniving, over a small issue. He deserved better than that. We now thoroughly discuss what our our money goes towards, we have a grocery budget...if I come under I can get a book. (It's kind of a fun challenge to see if I can save enough to get a book as well). If I have a need (or want) I ask John's permission before I buy. Be transparent in all things...I think a good rule is to tell before he asks. If your husband knows that you are consistently forthright with information, he will know that he can place his faith in you. My example of not being Spiteful: I am admittedly OCD. I have certain ways of doing things, everything belongs in its own particular location, and I tend to lose it if things don't go according to plan. My husband can well attest to these traits in me as he has often been the recipient of my wrath when things aren't just so. I am working on this. I am attempting to apply the insight of these verses to my life. Here's a silly sample; I have a decorative pumpkin hand towel in the bathroom. Decorative is the key word. My husband uses that towel and throws it in the sink. He doesn't fold it back up so that the pretty pumpkin is in the sight of any who enter the bathroom...You can tell from my wording that this grates on me. I used to nag John about it, and then I saw him roll his eyes...my first instinct was to spat off a smart comment, but I caught myself. He is entitled to do things his way, and if I don't like it I can fix that towel every time I see it messed up (which I do). I don't want my husband to resent me or to not feel refuge in his home because of me. I'm going to continue to try to change my ways rather than his...to extend him generous patience because I know he doesn't notice the things that set my hair on end.

Summary:
What ways can you apply these ideas to your life? Try them and see if your husband notices. I am going to go through this study of Proverbs 31 without telling John. I want to see if he can see the transformation the Lord is making in my heart and in my character. Each day this week read these verses and take them to heart... I'll do the same. Next week I will continue on with the next set of verses. I hope this is a blessing to your heart as it is to mine.

In Christ's abiding love...
Bri

Trophy Wife in Training

2010-11-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

Calling All Women!

I dare say that there is not-a-one of us out there that doesn't secretly desire to be a Trophy Wife. What I wouldn't give to have my husband strut like a peacock when I'm on his arm! Each time my husband and I go out there's always that one lucky lady who captures the admiring gaze (of every man) and animosity filled glare (of every woman) in the room. I don't know about you, but I want to be her! So how about it ladies? Want to strive for that goal? Care to commit to becoming a trophy wife in training? I know you are grimacing to yourself and thinking that this is an impossible task, but I assure you that it is not! I have found the key that unlocks this mystery. I'm asking you to join with me, body, mind, and soul in the effort at reaching this monumental goal.

"How do we do it?" you ask. Let me tell you! The answer to this most desired quest lies in the place that all answers are found, our Father's word.

Proverbs 31:10-31. I love the message bible's wording. At every opportunity I have I am going to take a verse of this scripture, break it apart, seek out it's meaning, and apply it to my life. The outcome of this endeavor is clear...I can be the trophy wife my husband desires and deserves if only I be the kind of wife my Father asks me to be. I hope you will join in this journey with me.

If you'd like to print out this version of the scripture go to biblegateway.com to do so. Every step of the way I will share what I discover about this task, and it is my great wish that we women of faith would band together in dedication to becoming the tremendous women that God created us to be.

My Fair Ladies

2010-10-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

Jordyn Elizabeth

My newest miracle could not be more different than her big sister. From the moment she was born Jordyn has been an even-tempered, laid back little lady. Not much has changed in the 6 weeks since. She is quick to smile and content to just be...Such a blessing! Every day she is more alert and interested in the on-goings of big sis. I cannot wait to see this little daughter of mine grow into her own unique personality. I pray that I can continue to nurture and cultivate the individual that God intends her to be...

Abigail Grace

My "big" girl has entered the terrible two's at a year and a half! Abigail has an independent nature and her daddy's "I can do it myself and my way" attitude. This is turning out to be quite the challenge for mommy! Abigail is an affectionate and outgoing little girl. She loves nothing more than to make people smile. Abigail is the perfect combination of girly-girl and tom-boy. She loves to shop with her Nana and Aunt Hannah, and she adores riding in any farm equipment she can charm the men in her life to taking her in. Each Sunday Abigail lets us know that she is going to church to worship "Jezzie" (Jesus). I know that now is a critical time in forming the foundation of her faith, and I pray that John and I are sensitive to the leading of our Lord in that direction.

My Fair Ladies are the answer to my heart's desires. The raising of them is the mission I have always felt led too. I want nothing more than to be a faithful godly mother to them. My greatest joys are the smiles that these two precious girls send my direction.

3 Years of Marriage + 2 Baby Girls = 1 Good Life

2010-09-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today is my wedding anniversary. 3 years ago on this day I stood before God and man and made the greatest commitment of my life...it was the easiest and most wonderful thing I have ever done. John came into my life in a whirlwind, and life has been swirling on around us ever since! My husband is a godly, giving man who sweeps me of my feet every single day. Together we have built a family and life that I dreamed about since I was a little girl.

Today is my second daughter's birthday. 3 years ago on this day my new husband and I said we would wait 1 year to have children, and that's just what we did...369 days later I took a positive pregnancy test. Abigail was the joy of our lives for 6 and a half months and then had to move over and share a little heart space with our next gift of life...Jordyn Elizabeth. Today my daughter will arrive into a family whose arms are just itching to hold her. John and I have been so blessed to be given 2 precious little ladies nearlythe moment we asked for them.

Today is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I will be mommy to not just one blessing, but two. I am engulfed in a wide array of emotions that begin with eager anticipation and end in utter terror, but I know my Lord will day-to-day set my feet upon the rock of His love and guide me through. I look forward to today, to the love and to the pain, to the fulfillment of prayers and promises, to the indescribeable joy of being a wife and a mother...

In Love...

2010-08-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

There is an indescribable sensation that occurs when your hearts finds and connects with your soul mate. There is a sonic-boom within your soul when one kindred spirit encounters another. I remember well this instantaneous flood of emotion from when I met my husband and when I first laid eyes upon my Abigail. It has occurred again in another form, in friendship. I have long been praying to be blessed with a dear and special friend. One who can see the ugly and still think beautiful, one who I can be out of line with and who will yank me back in, one who can know and understand the innermost thoughts and workings of my heart and feel as though that is a reflection of her own. I have found her. You know who you are, and I am so very blessed to know you. I am honored to spend time with you. I aspire to be more like you, and I hope that through the growth of our friendship I will resemble all that is good the way you do. Do not fear that I have a false impression or that I have put you upon some unsustainable pedestal, I have but been touched by the truly genuine and real person that you are. Thank you, dear sister of my heart, for allowing me into your life and for being the long-awaited answer to a prayer! I hope that I can return to you all that you have given to me...

I share this not to pique curiousity but to give praise to the Lord for a prayer answered, and to allow this sweet woman to know how truly special she is without bringing her any undue embarassment...just in case she doesn't feel that same about me! :-)

North Carolina Get-A-Way

2010-07-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

Two years ago John and I spent a week of bliss in Bat Cave, North Carolina. We fell in love with the beautiful mountains and day dreamed about bringing our family there one day. Two years later God granted us just such an opportunity. My aunt generously allowed us and my brothers and sisters-in-law to stay rent-free in her beautiful cabin. It was such a blessing to take our precious girl to the place that John and I loved, and even more so to find that she loved it just as much as we do. As we near the time of being a family of four, we now look forward to taking both girls back someday. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our little Miss on her first vacation!

The Farmer's Daughter...

2010-07-13T12:52:00.001-07:00

My sweet little Abigail was destined to be a country girl. Never before have I encountered a child that from the earliest moments of communications expressed an interest in tractors, ho-sies (horses), and towes (cows). She finds the moments of chasing down the cows as invigorating as John and I do. Before she was a year old, Abigail was making short hauls in the semi with her daddy. Uncle Joe throws her up in the big tri-axels for an occasional ride, and Grandpa took her in the combine with him last harvest. Grandma has passed on a love for the lawnmower. We can't pass by a piece of equipment without Abigail hollering to "dive, dive, dive" (drive). Recently we spent the week at the Gibson County Fair, a favorite holiday for all Davidson's, and we couldn't get over Abigail's immense pleasure at being in such an environment. She sat on every tractor, pet every horse, looked at every pig, and giggled at the cows. When all in the stands held their ears at the tractor pulls, Abigail grinned and screamed in delight at the event before her. I must say she was a bit perplexed by the lawnmower derby, and not too enthused to see her favorite vehicles being purposefully crashed. She truly seems to thrive in the environment that she was born into, and I can't say how much it touches my heart to know that she too loves the life that John and I treasure. I cannot wait to watch her grow and experience life as a farmer's daughter...

The Prayer of a Frazzled Mommy...

2010-06-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

Oh Father...

My voice longs to sing you songs of praise...

instead of the ABC's...

My mind desires deep spiritual conversation...

instead of "No Abigail, we cannot throw Daddy's undies in the toilet..."

My hands want to create beautful masterpieces that will bring you glory...

instead of picking up toys for the hundredth time...

My feet yearn to run and explore the vast exanse of the world you've designed...

instead of wearing circles in the carpet from the laundry room and back...

My appearance craves that a tiny bit of your beauty would rub off on me...

instead of the drool and baby food that completes my attire...

My eyes long to see the difference that I've made in my small part of the world...

instead of laundry that needs cleaned and dishes that need done...

My ears seek to hear your soothing voice...

instead of the grating sound of electronic toys...

May I see you in the singing of lullabies, learn from you through my daughters, glorify you in the effort of housekeeping, kneel before you at the end of each long day, my inner beauty be a reflection of your grace, and may I hear you in the sweet sound of Abigail's "Amen".

In the midst of being Mommy, find me Lord...

You Know You're from the Country When...

2010-05-16T15:09:00.001-07:00

Laundry hangs out on a clothesline instead of being tossed around the dryer...
Gardens are planted out by the barn...
The greatest smell in the world is dirt...
The hum of tractors is like a lullaby...
Men spend their sabbath afternoon shooting guns...
Women still take pride in being barefoot and pregnant...
Your man's hands are never truly clean...
Your father-in-law walks into church with his Bible in his hand and his gun in his belt...
The way to town is on a gravel road...
Country songs aren't just cliche, they're reality...
Your little girl would rather play with a toy tractor than a doll...
Cowboy boots aren't worn as a fashion statement but for practicality...
The cows getting out is the norm...
Horseback riding is the preferred mode of transportation on a Sunday afternoon...
Your husband is never more handsome than he is in his work clothes...
and...
When the front porch swing is the site of evening romance...

I love my life!

Introducing: Jordyn Elizabeth

2010-05-07T12:19:00.001-07:00

As I'm sure most of you know John and I recently found out that we are expecting another little girl. Our Abigail Grace is going to become big sister to little Jordyn Elizabeth. It took awhile to digest the thought of another little lady. To any and all who know my Abigail, you can imagine why. My fiesty daughter has more personality than any baby I have known so it's a tad frightening and overwelming to imagine 2 girls. My saving grace is revealing itself in that Jordyn already seems to be a bit more laid back than her big sister. Abigail never stayed still within my womb, and Jordyn makes quiet slow-paced movements. I'm so anxious to meet my newest little lady, to see how alike and how different she is from Abigail. I can't wait to see how God has taken the same 2 people and knit together a new unique child. As with naming Abigail, it was a laborious process for John and I. We do not agree on girl names...not at all. He comes up with ideas like Margot or Winifred (I apologize to any of you who like these names also) and I like traditional names like Madelyn, Katherine, and Amelia. We went through dozens of names to no avail until John came up with Jordyn. I have to admit that I truly didn't like that name at first, but I took a chance and looked up it's meaning. It means "to flow down, or descend" which at first seems uneventful making name decisions, but Chelsa suggested Elizabeth as a middle name and suddenly I was in love. "Jordyn Elizabeth" means God's promises flow down. Our precious second daughter is the fulfillment of my heart's desire. Scripture says that if we seek the Lord then He will give us the desire of our hearts, so His promises have truly descended upon us in the form of Jordyn. We are so anxious to watch our 2 girls grow up together, to watch them play, to see their friendship form. I can't wait to introduce her to you as well :-)

The Spring Happenings in Davidsonville

2010-04-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

With Spring comes lots of fun and hard work in our neck of the woods. Here is an update in pictures of what we've been up too!

Understanding Easter

2010-03-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

In as long as I have loved the Lord, I have never truly understood Easter. I could never fully comprehend the monumentous event that provided me life everlasting...I do now. Having Abigail and loving her as I do opened the floodgates of emotion and realization of what both God and Mary endured in the death of Jesus. Tears come to my eyes as I even think of seeing my daughter be beaten and murdered for those completely undeserving. My heart breaks as I realize God saw the big picture and to Him it was worth it. I ask myself if I would do it, allow it to happen...for you, for anyone. I'd like to believe I would be strong enough, but truly in my heart of hearts I don't know. This opening of the eyes of my heart has touched me deeply, given me true passion for my God. I hope that God touches you and yours if He has not already so that we may all truly truly celebrate this most special of holidays... Be blessed...I am...

The Joys of John

2010-03-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I have taken the time to properly brag on my wonderful husband. Despite my neglect in writing it down for the blogging world, each and every day I am grateful for him. Last night our little Abigail woke up around 12:30 screaming...painful screams. Initially I assumed that with a little comforting she would settle down, 3 hrs later I knew how wrong I was. John and I tried everything we could think of to take away our poor baby's pain but all to no avail. As many babies do when sick, Abigail only wanted Mommy. Mommy desperately wished she would want Daddy...at least for a little while. 20lbs is no small weight to hold, rock, bounce, and sway with for hours on end. John couldn't have been more supportive. He searched for medicine, filled juice cups, and took care of Abigail as much as she would let him. John was the one who realized that she might be having growing pains, and he showed me how to rub her little legs to ease the pain. Merciful silence came for awhile as John and I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed her legs. He listened to hours of me singing worship songs in an effort to calm both she and I down. John could have shoved his head under the pillow or gone to the couch as many husbands would, but he didn't. He stayed. He comforted both Mommy and Abbi. I was so thankful for John's willingness to just be there even though there was little he could do. As with every day that passes I am so proud to be John's wife, and so grateful to spend my life alongside him.

Adoring Abigail...

2010-03-05T06:58:00.000-08:00

My sweet Abigail is not much into posing for pictures, but we managed to get a few good ones!

Dear Boppli,

2010-01-15T08:35:00.000-08:00

I will begin my first letter to you by saying that you are every bit as precious and anticipated as your big sister was. Mommy could not be more joyful to know that once again life grows within her. Already you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In your own unique way you will bring new and wonderful joys to our family. God has grand plans for your life little one, and I cannot wait to see them fulfilled. I promise that Daddy and I will do our best to train you in the ways you should go. Know always that everything we do is done with love for our Heavenly Father and with love for you. Daddy and I believe that children are always a gift but you are even more so because of your Grandpa Charlie. Grandpa Charlie passed away right before we found out you were on your way. He would have loved to meet you, but I know that even now he is giving the Lord his 2 cents about what personality traits you should have. We know that God blessed us with you at just the right time. Grow Strong and Healthy my boppli...

Mommy Loves You

Blessed Beyond Measure

2010-01-15T08:28:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Day my husband's grandpa passed away. A more godly, integrity filled man I have never known. Charlie Blake was all things good and righteous, and the loss of him left an immense void within his family. As our family mourns his death, we have new reason to rejoice. John and I found out this week that we are expecting our second boppli. I think it is beyond irony and coincidence that our Lord gave life in the same breath as one was taken. I have utter faith that while my hands will be busy with 2 little ones my heart will be filled to overflowing. John and I have decided that if our little one is a boy he will be named Jonah Charles in honor of Grandpa Blake. May you always know that in the midst of hurt there can be joy...

Excerpt from Mommy's Life Journal

2009-12-24T12:56:00.000-08:00

Writing Promt:
How did you know that Dad was the one you would spend your life with?

By the time I met your dad (John), I had been through more than my fair share of boyfriends. There was even one guy that I had thought I'd spend my life with. It took quite awhile for me to realize that I needed to stop searching for "the one". The guy that I had given my heart to before your daddy didn't treasure it for the gift that it was, and as a result he broke it. While I was healing from this hurt, God truly made himself known to me and I realized that He was "the one" I was looking for. For the first time I surrendered my desire to be loved, and before I knew it I was drowning in the intimacy of God's grace.

I set in my heart and mind a list of standards that I believed God wanted me have for the man I would give my newly healed heart to. Here were some of the things that I had to see in a young man.
1. Love God first and foremost
2. His life must show the fruit of this love
3. Family must be a priority.
4. A hard worker
5. Intellectual
6. Character above reproach
7. Must endure to preserve romance
The list goes on but to put it simply I was going to be picky.

I met your dad not long after this took place in my heart. Our first date resembled a trial more than a romantic experience. I was delighted to know that John had endured a similar experience and had settled his heart on the same matters. Your dad and I questioned each other back and forth to determine if we each met each others standards. He did and I did, and by the time that date was over a deep peace settled over my heart. Over the next weeks God revealed in countless ways that John Davidson was my prince.

I'll share one sweet specific example. Before I even knew your dad, I had prayed that God would help me know His choice on mate. I asked him to have the young man surprise me by dancing with me under the stars. Your dad and I had not been seeing each other long when one evening on the way home he pulled over in a parking lot. (Yes readers,I was a bit leery too). He told me to climb in the back on his truck and close my eyes. (Yep, creepy). Skeptically I did as told. Suddenly I heard music and then opened my eyes to see John holding out his arms. He asked if I would like to dance and I said yes. As I laid in bed that night, praying and asking God for guidance, my previous request came to mind. Not once had I mentioned this to anyone. I'm not saying that God fulfills our petty needs for signs, but this moment truly seemed to be appointed by my Father.

It wasn't long after that night that your dad told me he wanted to marry me, and I was able to assure him with all of my heart that I wanted the same...

Politically Correct Christmas

2009-12-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

Regardless of who you are...

Regardless of what you believe...

Regardless of what generation you hale from...

Regardless of where you're from...

Regardless of your political leanings...

Christmas is about Jesus!

To any and all who say otherwise, I hope that truth seeps into your soul with every gift you open this Christmas.

Just had to get that off my chest!

Excerpt from Mommy's Life Journal

2009-12-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

I thought that occasionally I might let some of you in on a few of my secrets that I'm sharing in Abigail's journal. So sit back and enjoy a foray into the mind of Brianne!

Writing Prompt:
What was the worst date you've ever been on?

The summer before I met your dad (John), was the first single time I had experienced in over 4 years. I had several dating experiences, but one sticks out as the worst. A good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless for his sake) and I had been hanging out frequently and were really enjoying one another's company. At Jessie and Dusty Davis' cookout he finally asked me if I would like to go on a date. I agreed thinking that although we were total opposites that it might be just what I was looking for. The night of our date things started off well until I opened the door when he picked me up to find him standing there dressed in turn of the century golfing attire. We went to Bobe's ( a local pizza place) and had dinner. Our prearranged plans included getting together with other friends to play music and hang out, but when this feel through my date's mood went sour. Needless to say this made things awkward. By the end of dinner I feared that he was nearing the point of being mildly depressed. I asked what he'd like to do next and he replied that he was taking me home. I was dropped off on my doorstep with the sun still up on a Friday night. Obviously I was a little bummed that things turned out so poorly and to compound this I didn't hear from the guy until a month later. He told me he'd had a great time and would like to go out again, but he was too late. By this time I'd met your dad and lost my heart to him.

Time...

2009-11-29T15:15:00.000-08:00

If I could ask Santa for just one thing this Christmas it would be something that we all take for granted...Time.

Time to spend with girl friends...

Time to woo my husband backinto the romance we used to have...

Time to think adult thoughts...

Time to have a deep conversation with my husband...

Time to do something that I want to do not have to do...

Time to laugh and tease with my husband...

Time to read something other than children's books...

Time without my husband or my daughter, time just for me...

Time to blog...

Time to stop and catch my breath...

I want time, time to appreciate all that I have right here and right now...

See how much can be done with just a little time?!
When you're a mommy time is a hot commodity!

Mommy's Life

2009-11-08T08:23:00.000-08:00

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have journaled and written letters to my precious boppli. Now my sweet daughter is here, and I have embarked upon a deeper version of this special time of sharing my heart with Abigail. I recently bought a journal that's titled "Mommy's Story." It's a prompted journal that will take me the course of her life to complete. It has topics like "What is the worst date you've ever been on?", "What is your favorite childhood memory?", What's the worst thing you've ever done/the best thing?" On Abigail's Sweet 16 Birthday I will give her this journal, filled with my thoughts, memories, experiences, and the inner parts of my heart. I hope that it will be a guide that might help her understand her Mommy a little more, that she might seek the advice within it's pages. For each child that makes it's way into the Davidson family just such a gift will be a labor of love from either Mommy or Daddy...From time to time I may share a couple of my replies to these questions with you :-)

Abigail Grace's Fall Pictures

2009-10-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

Stephanie Willis took these gorgeous pictures of Abigail just a week or so ago. This is my priceless gift at 4 1/2 months! Thank you for the wonderful memories, Steph!

A Sneak Peek!

2009-10-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a sneak peek of Abigail's fall pictures! Mrs. Stephanie Willis took them and did a fantastic job as usual! If you have a little one and need some pictures done, she's the lady to talk to!

Her Heart Belongs to Daddy...

2009-10-07T12:36:00.001-07:00

Her Heart Belongs to Daddy...

It's an amazing thing to witness the formation of the bond between father and daughter. I still stand in awe of my daddy, and my heart tugs a bit every time I leave him to come back home. I have been watching Abigail develop the same feelings for John and in makes my heart do flip flops to see them together. It was love at first sight for sure, but now so much more ties them together. John and I have a habit of dancing together at random moments, and he has carried that over to also dance with Abigail. Every time I see them together tears come to my eyes. (Listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" and you'll cry too!)

Abigail has even become a Colts fan, just like Daddy! She screams in delight whenever football comes on. I hope that she and John will always remain close, and that he will forever be her hero just like my daddy is to me!

Abigail, Abbi, or Gail

2009-09-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

When John and I chose the name "Abigail" for our daughter, we figured that at some point she would become Abbi for short. As I have gotten to know my little girl I have realized that she is Abigail. I love the meaning of her name, I love the way the entire name sounds, I love that while there are many Abby's there are very few "Abigail's". Many people have asked us how to refer to her, and my answer is you may call her Abbi if you want, but to me she is Abigail. Oddly enough if I happen to shorten her name here lately it has come out "Gail." I guess the reason that this matters to me is that I have one of "those" names. Most of my life I have been Bri rather than Brianne, and now there are people who don't even realize that Bri is a nickname. I'm named after my daddy (Brian) and am proud to be his namesake so sometimes I wish that I was "Brianne" but it seems as though Bri is stuck....to make a long story short this got me to thinking about what Abigail would want to be called one day. I have had some many ask me this question I thought I'd just put up a short post about it :-) I'm going add a picture of my sweetie and you can decide for yourself!

Cows love Jesus too!

2009-09-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

Meeting Annabelle for the first time!

In the cows "living room" for church

Every once in a while my little family takes a Sabbath Sunday to have church at home. John works 10 hr days 6 days a week and the result is very little family time. A few Sundays ago was one of our "Special Sundays." We slept in, made pancakes and bacon for breakfast, and took a walk. John packed his Bible in the stroller and off we went! About midway through our walk we realized that Abigail had not yet met the cows and horses so our destination became the pasture! We invited ourselves into our cows "living room" (a hollowed out place in the trees where they lie down at the same time everyday). It was a gorgeous morning with a hint of Fall in the air. John decided that this was as good of spot as any for church that morning because cows love Jesus too you know! John led our little family in a church service of sorts, and I have to say that the cows gave their utmost attention to the "sermon." Every once in awhile John surprises me and reads me Proverbs 31, and that morning was one of those times. We also prayed Psalms 139 over Abigail, just as we have since we first knew that she was growing inside me. It was a special moment that touched my heart deeply. We love introducing our little girl to our life on the farm, and so far she seems to love it as much as we do!

The Men in Her Life...

2009-09-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

Abigail has stolen the hearts of many, but there are 2 men in particular who are putty in her hands...

Grandad...

I knew that my daddy would be a terrific Grandad, but I had no idea just how wonderful he would be. Abigail lights up when she sees my dad. They sing ABC's and count to 10. He talks to her and truly she hangs on his every word. It's such a blessing to see how wonderful my dad is with my daughter, and I have an even greater appreciation for the man that he has been in my life.

Daddy...

Of course all daddies melt at the sight of their little girls, but my husband might do so more than most. John is captivated by his daughter, and as a wife it endears him to my heart every time I see the two of them together. The final photo is of Daddy and Abigail "dancing". They tango across the dining room, and they slow dance in the kitchen. Long ago John began a habit of surprising me with dancing moments, and he has carried on the tradition with Abigail. We so want her to understand that she is worthy and deserving of a good and godly man, and John has set his mind to showing her how a lady deserves to be treated. He is a wonderful daddy!

Daddy:

Abigail...At a Glance

2009-09-03T10:19:00.001-07:00

3 months old...

A Face Only a Mother Could Love...

Simply Sweet in Her Amish Dress

Sitting in the Bumbo...

Bumbos, Belly Fat, Brunette Hair, and Baby #2

2009-08-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

Bumbo

If you have infants and do not own one of these it is a worthwhile purchase!

Abigail is 3 months old and "sitting up" on her own

She loves the freedom and independence of being able to sit and look around without Mommy.

Each time I set her in her bumbo, she looks around and grins when she realizes that she's on her own, so to speak.

I can admit with honesty and trepidation that my sweet baby girl has an attitude and an independent streak.

At some point I am certain this will get her into trouble, but for now we humor her nature knowing that we will "mold" it later.

Abigail is quite adept at throwing temper tantrums and her ear-splitting screams do grow wearisome, particularly when she is just doing it to be ornery.

John and I are (sadly enough) becoming antsy for the day when Little Miss Abigail can be disciplined for her Diva-Like behaviors as both he and I swear up and down that we will not have a daughter who behaves "like that."

Despite all this it is quite cute to see that little smile of accomplishment creep across her face each time she sits in her bumbo...

Belly Fat

I am sick to death of my flabby belly.

I have dieted and exercised until I am blue in the face and still the chub remains.

My sisters-in-law and I are beginning an intense workout schedule so hopefully I will see some progress.

I think my greatest fear is never truly feeling "good" about myself again.

I don't want to constantly be sucking or tucking in a chubby tummy!

Any mommies who have suggestions please pass them on!

Brunette Hair

For years now I have endured the maintenance of forcing my hair to be blonde.

Constant coloring and highlights are wearisome and expensive!

I recently began getting lowlights rather than highlights and after many compliments I decided to take the plunge!

I'm now a brunette and I love it!

Who said blondes have more fun anyway?!

Baby # 2

I wonder how many of you instantly saw the title of this blog and scrolled down to this section?!

First I will still your beating hearts and say "No" we are not expecting again!

It amazes me how having Abigail has brought out the wonderful Daddy in John.

I knew he would be a good father, but I could not have imagined how great he would be.

As soon as Abigail was born John declared that we were going to have "lots" of babies!

You can imagine how I felt having just been through the labor and delivery process!

Now that we are 3 months away from that moment, I am beginning to warm to the idea myself.

As my daughter grows and changes I wonder how similar or different the next little one will be.

It is amazing to see glimpses of John and I emerge in her, and I marvel at God's handiwork.

I am anxious to see how He will take the same combination and create an entirely unique human being.

When the time comes I will eagerly await baby #2 just as I did Abigail, but until then I am enjoying being a mommy of 1!

A Mommy Mess Up

2009-08-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail had her first bottle of the day

We went and got groceries

Abigail has had thrush so Mommy put new clean nipples on bottles

Around 10:00 a.m. crying begins and Abigail won't eat

Continues throughout the day with crying becoming more intense

Mommy wants to pull her hair out

Around 8:00 p.m. crying continues but begins to wind down

Abigail finally relents and falls asleep

Peace and quiet restores Mommy to sanity

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail won't take her formula and crying begins again

We leave for church in Washington with a screaming baby in the backseat

Amazingly enough the quiet ceases during church

Around 10:00 a.m. Abigail takes her bottle but Mommy notices that level of formula doesn't decrease

Mommy takes bottle out of Abigail's mouth and shakes it

No hole in tip of nipple

Problem Solved

Mirror, Mirror

2009-07-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

My daughter is fascinated with mirrors. At 10 weeks old there is nothing more exciting than studying her own reflection. She inspires me. Her innocence wrenches my heart. The other day as I watched her practice crying in her toy mirror, (fake crying I assure you) tears rolled down my face as I wondered how long she would enjoy this simple act. I realized that within a few short years she will likely look into a mirror with not contentment but disgust.

We live in a society that trains us as women to pick apart every nuance of ourselves that does not fit into the mold of the current standard of beauty. For as long as I can remember the mirror has been a foe of mine. My earliest memories are tainted by the devastation that anorexia and bulimia can wreak upon a family, my family. To this day I spend a ridiculous amount of time fretting over what to eat, truly whether or not to even eat. I worry over what size I am and what I will wear. I obsess over if I'm thin or fat, ugly or pretty, trendy or plain. I worry about whether or not my husband will love me or be attracted to me if I gain 5 pounds of have a pimple! It's a travesty to have my life saturated with the obsession of beauty.

I want more for Abigail. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she is a princess of the King of Kings. I want her to know that beauty, the true kind, comes from within. I want her to be filled with peace when she looks into the mirror. I want Abigail to treasure herself enough to dress modestly. I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful...truly gorgeous, and I want her to have an accurate standard against which to measure this. I want to be an example to her, to change my way of thinking. I want to make a conscious effort to train Abigail up with this mindset. Hold me accountable.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised

1 Peter 3:3-4 It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful.4 No, your beauty should come from within you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is very precious to God.

Cry of My Heart

2009-07-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

In the last 6 years there has been an unusual amount of young lives lost: Nicholas Rainey, Holly Wirth, Walter Ayala, Seth Coy, and others. Each time a tragedy such as these occurs I am asked "Why?" and I know that truly this question is intended for God's ears and not my own. With all of my heart I believe that part of the reason God has allowed young lives to end is to remind us of the fragility of life. The Bible says that to each person there is an alloted number of days, no more and no less can be given. To you who are young: don't wait to change your life, don't wait to make God your priority. Begin a life of living for His glory now. To you who are old (adults): You know not the number of days that remain...make them count. If you know the Lord, be certain that your children do as well. We are not entitled to turn and shake our fists at God when we have wasted the precious gift of life He has given. My heart is breaking and crying out as I write this, (not for Seth (who passed away last night, I know that this young man loved the Lord and is in Jesus' arms right now) but for the countless numbers of young and old alike who endure loss after loss and still reject the love of Christ.

To Those of You Who Fall Under that Category, I write this:

Money will not satisfy you
Material Wealth will not make you happy
Success will not fulfill you
Alcohol and Drugs will not solve your problems
Sex and Relationships will not mend your heart

Turn to God. Share with Him your anger, hurt, depression, discontentment, anxieties, or whatever is holding you back. Allow yourself to soak in His forgiveness and move on in new life. Don't use God. God is not the 911 system to be used only in times of emergencies. He is a loving father who wants to Know YOU! He wants to rejoice with you in good times, and He wants to comfort you when tragedies occur. Your life is not judged on the good time you had last night, or the fact that you carry a Coach purse. Your life is judged by what you do with the number of days God has given you. Live for Him, not yourself. It is never too late or too early to change.

If I have offended any, I ask you first to look within your heart and examine why you take offense, and secondly if you find no reason then I ask your forgiveness.

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-07-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

My sweet little girl,
For two months now you have made my life a waking dream, although there were moments (very short ones) that seemed to be a nightmare. Mommy has struggled to get you into some semblance of a sleeping pattern, and finally we have succeeded! You are a night owl, just like your daddy. We consider it a small victory to get you to sleep before 11:00. Each day more facets of your personality emerge, and I stare at you with awe as the individuality of YOU appears. Too many times to count, Mommy and Daddy find ourselves with tears in our eyes as we thank God for the blessing of you. You bring such joy to us, Abigail. Everyday, every hour, every moment is appreciated and stored away in my mind.

I hope that always you will know how treasured you are, not only by Mommy and Daddy, but by your Heavenly Father as well. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Seek it. Fulfill it. The greatest accomplishment, the greatest joy, the most satisfying fulfillment will come not during your life, but at the end. Remember this, daughter. We do not live to store up treasures on earth. We do not live to please ourselves. We do not live to stand above others. We live and breathe to bring glory to the Lord who gave us life. We live to share love with others. No child has ever been as loved as you are, and I pray that this love will flow through you and from you into the lives of others. In every choice, in every action, and in every word, try always to live in such a way that one day you will hear these words, "Well Done, Abigail, Well Done." I will do my best to raise you up for this. Grow strong and healthy.

Mommy Loves You...

Adoring Abigail

2009-07-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

My sweet little girl is two months old now...where does time go? I'm officially one of those mothers, you know the kind...the ones who cry with every new accomplishment their child makes, no matter how big or small. (Let's be honest, at this point they are all small) Abigail is becoming quite the character, just like her daddy. She talks quite often. According to John she can also crawl which truly is just a scooting motion that sometimes leaves her with rug burns...oops! Abigail loves to smile and tries very hard to laugh. She makes more facial expressions then any baby I've ever seen, but then again if you know John you are probably not surprised. We have enetered the realm of "only mommy will do" and while sometimes irritating, I must admit to loving the fact that I'm the one she wants. John and I often muse about when the absolute wonder of Abigail will wear off, but I don't think it ever will. Everyday I count my blessings, especially the blessing of Adoring Abigail...

A Familiar Face

2009-07-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

Out of the blue one day, a good friend of mine mentioned that he had some pictures he thought I'd like to have. I inquired as to the content of the pictures and tears came to my eyes when he told me they were pictures of Nicholas. Many of you knew Nicholas personally and some may have only heard stories of his legendary adventures. Nicholas was my cousin and my best friend. A part of me died along with him and in the years since I've never been the same. When Aaron asked if I'd like to have the pictures, he handed me a far greater gift than he knew. You see as time passes the small things about Nicholas fade within my mind, and to see his face again retores all of that. Thank you, Aaron and Steph for giving me a glimpse of a familiar and dearly loved face...

Abbi's First Fair

2009-07-12T08:58:00.001-07:00

The Gibson County Fair is a BIG annual event for the Davidson family. Each year as summer approaches we eagerly await fair week..the food...the entertainment...the animals. We love every aspect of the fair! This year the anticipation was overwhelming for John and I as this would be Abigail's first fair experience. Grandma (John's mom) had bought Abigail an outfit for every night of the fair...her first pair of jeans, red and white gingham, overalls...she was adorable to say the least (this from a proud Mommy). Abigail painted the picture of a perfect country girl! I jokingly talk about Abigail becoming a "mutton buster" and the fair is the precursor to that because Abbi met her first sheep! In September we hope to take her to the Palestine Rodeo to see what mutton busting is all about. John wanted Abigail to be a part of every fair event...tractor pulls, demo, the animal barn, tasting funnel cake (or at least the powdered sugar). He was mildly frustrated as Abbi seemed content to sleep or stare at the ceiling rather than look at the animals. Abigail loved every second! These are some of our favorite moments...Enjoy!

I See Me!

2009-07-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

Long before Abigail arrived we speculated on what and who she would look like. For six weeks now it has remained just as much of a mystery. Many people see John's characteristics, and fewer have seen mine. It's minutely discouraging to think that this person that you carried for 9 1/2 months and then birthed didn't bother to inherit any of your features! When I was last home I found a picture of me at 6 weeks and was surprised to see a little of myself in Abigail after all! See what you think!

Satellite Insanity

2009-07-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

For nearly 7 months now John and I have lived in our little woodland home. We've enjoyed the chirping birds, the wind blowing through the trees, and 3 fuzzy channels tuned in by a good 'ol rabbit ear antenna. The wonderful "digital switch" left us with 1 fuzzy channel and 4 daily hours of infomercials. I'm convinced that I could sell you any number of useless items, as I was tempted by their 1/2 selling pitches on a daily basis. My thoughtful parents enticed John and I with an early Christmas gift of Dish Network! Praise be! Our cute little house now proudly displays a satellite on the roof, and we are nearly overwelmed by a choice of 100 different television programs at any given time. It truly is a blessing and luxury for this stay-at-home mom! I'm certain if you could be a mouse on the wall you'd be mightily amused by our animated "look at that!" ,"what should we watch?" , and "how does this remote work?" The point that really sent us over the edge was the DVR mechanism. I can honestly say I was speechless when John stopped my live television show to rewind it a bit! I've been getting a kick out of how drastically this has impacted us, and I thought you might too!

Growing and Changing

2009-06-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

Big Cheeks?

First Family Picture Since the Hospital (Oops!)

Just Being Adorable!

Abigail and Mommy, We Love to Cuddle

Daddy and Abigail on Father's Day

Grandad and Abigail on Father's Day

In the Special Dress She Wore for Daddy on Father's Day

First Nap in Her Crib

Understanding Abraham

2009-06-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have read the account of Abraham's Testing (Exodus 22) countless times. My thoughts on the matter summed up to this: 1. The account foreshadowed God's sacrifice of His son Jesus. 2. We should be willing to lay all aside in willing obedience to the Lord. 3. God has a reason and plan even when we cannot see them clearly. Matter of fact I know, but that's about all I amounted that passage of scripture to. Until now.

A little over a month ago I gave birth to my first child, my sweet Abigail. She arrived safe and sound, but not after a scare or two. There were several times throughout labor that her heart rate plummeted, but always within less than a minute it rose back to normal levels on it's own. We were nearing the home stretch of dilation (about 8 cm) when suddenly I was surrounded by nurses and my doctor. No one said a word, but their faces were grim and their attitudes urgent. I looked to my husband, whose face could not have been more stoic, and felt my own heart begin to pound. The nurses proceeded to turn me first one way and then another before finally settling me into a declined position with my feet raised higher than my head (not comfortable at the 38th week of pregnancy I assure you). My epidural was turned up to the point that I no longer felt anything at all. For what seemed to be a horrendous amount of time everyone silently watched the monitor, while I did my best to remain calm. I glued my eyes on John who showed no expression at all. Finally after what must have only been 5-10 minutes, the nurses began to file out of the room and the mood eased. The wonderful nurse who had attended to me all day leaned over and explained that this time when Abigail's heart rate fell it would not rise again. She went on to say that they had been on the verge of doing an emergency c-section when (Thank Heavens) her heart rate picked back up to a normal level. At this point my composure dissolved as I let it sink in what danger my little girl had been in. John left the room, and when he returned I could tell just how scared he has been as well. The rest of the labor process went smoothly, and as fore mentioned our daughter is now one month old. At the time I did my best to push the memory of that terrifying experience aside, but now it has come rushing back with a vengeance and with it new understanding of Exodus 22.

God directly asked Abraham, with the intention of testing his faith, to sacrifice his only son...the son he desired more than all else, Isaac. The next morning Abraham rose and proceeded to do just as God had asked. Now you and I both know that God provided a sacrificial lamb and Isaac was spared, but Abraham had no idea that this would be the case. The Bible says nothing about Abraham's reaction to this request or the emotions he must surely have felt, but I have been trying to put myself in his shoes. Can you imagine the agony of knowing what morning would bring!? How emotionally, physically, and mentally taxing that night must have been. I cannot adequately understand I am certain, but I believe that now I can empathize. As I recall those terrible moments when the beat of Abigail's heart fell, I can now look back and let myself feel the full impact of that situation. I felt, feel even now, angry that there should even has been a second of danger to this little person that I already loved so much. I know now, as I knew then, that it would be far easier to die myself than to lose my daughter. I know that in those moments the pounding of my heart was a cry of "not her Lord, but if someone must go let it be me." If given the ultimatum I would have gladly walked into Jesus' loving arms if only my little girl could live. I like to believe that I would have enough faith to let go of Abigail if God required it, but I fear that I do not. Can you too imagine Abraham beseeching God to allow him to take Isaac's place? Can you fathom the turmoil of weighing your options? Obey and lose your child. Disobey and ...well who wants to provoke God?

I have another level to take this thought to...if you care to join me.

In Biblical times the offering of a sacrifice required preparation...going to a special place, the necessities for a fire, at times herbs or perfumes...God expected Abraham to go through the process of getting ready to sacrifice his son. He had to gather the wood, stack it, make kindling, perhaps pack special incense. It seems almost cruel to me to know that he had to go through these measures knowing that the blood shed on the altar would belong to his son. My sister-in-law recently lost her twin baby boys. She was 21 weeks into a rough pregnancy and had just begun to hope that they might be alright. One night she began bleeding profusely and having intense contractions. For 3 days she lingered in labor before finally delivering her precious boys. Aidan Dale arrived stillborn and Addison Lee's heart beat for over an hour before he too passed away. My sister-in-law and her husband had been required to make a necessary decision...restate or not. In a sense they too faced the same situation that Abraham faced. They endured 3 days of pain knowing that at the end of it all their boys stood very little chance of survival. On my part, my immediate reaction was to shake my fist in anger at God. Despite this all both have emerged from this experience with hope. Even in the bad, how good our God is.

How very well I am beginning to understand Abraham...

An Abigail Update

2009-06-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Little Miss Abigail Grace can:

Smile at Mommy and Daddy
"Coo" better than any baby I've ever heard (I'm biased)
Poop Foam...I'm not even lying. It was sick.
Practice "Mutton Busting" on Daddy's knee (a rodeo event in which kids ride big sheep for 8 seconds)
Make 101 different faces within any given 60 second period

Little Miss Abigail Grace loves:

Dancing with Daddy
Nursing without ceasing or so it seems to Mommy
Looking at her Farm Mobile
Cuddling with anyone who holds her
Sleeping with her arms up by her head

Little Miss Abigail Graces hates:

Bottles (we are forcing her to confront this aversion)
Being Tossed in the Air (perhaps not a gymnast like Mommy)
Not being held (Any night owls who want to hold a baby for hours on end, let me know)

Our little girl is growing up far faster than I would like (other than in the sleep department). I cannot believe that Abigail has been apart of our lives for over a month now. She has grown and changed in so many ways. I find myself filled with bittersweet emotions all the time. I'm sad to see my little one outgrow her newborn clothes, yet I am excited to see her personality emerging. There is no greater joy or blessing than Abigail Grace...

A Tribute To Ms. Bananas in Pajamas

2009-06-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning found me at wits end. My sweet baby girl doesn't have such endearing sleep habits. For weeks now I've been running on a max of 4 hrs sleep per night. Tuesday night I never quite made it to bed, and as a result I was an emotional mess come morning. On impulse I texted my dear friend Court-N-Tilly, and found comforted I desperately needed. Courtney and I have not been able to keep in touch or to spend as much time together as we would like, but always always she is there for me. Many of you know that my freshman year of high school Courtney was my big sister on our dance team. We ironically looked very similar and happened to randomly wear the same outfits to practice (truly never planned). She and I carried around Banana in Pajama dolls and drove our team nuts singing the theme song to the show. We developed a strong friendship that has lasted beyond high school and in to adult life. Courtney and I coached dance together for several years, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. After marrying I moved to the middle of no where (literally) and haven't been able to come home as much as I'd like. Courtney and I often talked about being mommies together and now it's happened! I'm so thankful for her comforting words, sympathetic understanding, and reassurance that I am not crazy after all. She lended a listening ear when one was desperately needed. I also owe her an everlasting debt of gratitude because on the heels of her advice little Abigail slept 5hrs in a row last night!

Courtney- I'm so thankful for your friendship that endures trials and strengthens over time. God bless you! Let me know when I can return the favor!

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-06-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe that you have been a part of our lives for nearly a month now. Life is altogether different and more meaningful because of your presence. Because your daddy is such a hard worker, Mommy is able to stay home with you. It is such a blessing to watch you change and grow day in and day out. We went to the Dr. for your first check up this week and you are growing marvelously! You have gained nearly 2lbs in 3 weeks! Needless to say the doctor and nurses were impressed! Daddy and I love you so much. In our wildest dreams we could not have adequately imagined the immense blessing that you would be. You are a noisy little girl! Daddy says you sound just like a piglet with all the grunting that you do. I think that you are just like Daddy. You sleep with your arms up...just like him. You make 101 different facial expressions...just like him. You sleep deeply and soundly (when you sleep)...just like him. You are a priceless and special little girl. Your sleeping patterns leave a little to be desired. You and Mommy spend quality time together at all hours of the night. Everyone is head over heels in love with you, and rightly so. I have yet to meet a little girl as fussed over as you! I pray that you will soak in all of this love and that throughout your life you will share it with others. Grow Strong and Healthy my boppli...

Mommy Loves You

Abigail

2009-05-29T10:16:00.001-07:00

The Joys of John

2009-05-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

My John is a man among men. Through every disgusting and embarassing aspect of labor, delivery, and recovery my husband stood by my side. Women, you know the emotional havoc that is wreaked when you are forced to throw any modicum of modesty out the window. John took this all in stride and never once made me feel ackward. (This is made even more so impressive considering my husband and I still do not pass gas in front of one another) Throughout it all I was so comforted and blessed by his presence. From the first moment of her life, Abbi's daddy has been wonderful. I have never seen a man so thrilled to be a father. We both are blessed beyond measure.

My Purpose

2009-05-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have long dreamed of being a mother. For as long as I can remember I have felt that this was been the purpose for which I was created. I have held other people's children and closed my eyes trying to imagine what it would be like to hold my own. A little over a week ago my dreams became reality, and I can now say with certainty that this is my destiny. I will not be the best mother. I will make many mistakes. I will send up a million prayers in request for guidance, but I will love my daughter whole heartedly. I will support her, guide her, and train her in the ways that are right. I can only hope that God will grant me a potion of the wisdom that He bestowed upon Solomon. Abigail Grace is granting me the opportunity to pursue my purpose in life, and I'll do my best to make her proud.

The Proof

2009-05-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is Courtney posting for your proud parents.

Abigail,

As I was on my second visit today to see you little Miss Abigail, Mommy kept calling you her "proof". The proof I saw today was the proof of God's Love! That love brought your Mommy and Daddy together, Abbi. The love that has been felt as you wiggled inside Mommy's belly for 9 mo. The love the family felt as your birth day grew closer.

Abigail Grace Davidson

born 5-20-09

6:09 pm

6 lbs 13oz 20 in

You are so tiny and petite like your Mama with buttery, tan skin like your Daddy. Aunt Courtney does not know who you look like but I fell in love with your soft eyes as soon as I saw them. I am so excited you are here now. My Leah will always have a playmate :)

God is Good!

I love you Abbi,

Aunt Courtney

3 a.m.

2009-05-19T23:36:00.000-07:00

It's 3:00 a.m. (hence the title, clever I know) and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. For years this day has been imagined within the confines of my mind, and now in mere hours the yearnings of my heart and mind will become reality. How does one sleep in a time such as this? This lady cannot, although her snoring husband does not face such maladies. A few moments ago I lay there looking at him...wondering. I pray that our daughter is like her daddy. He's such a strong, good man. He's the best person I know.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. Curse Eve for making what could have been an altogether pleasant experience painful. Today is the first day of mothering a sweet little girl, of training her up in the way she should go. John and I fervently believe that parenting, particularly a godly child in today's secular world, is a daily effort. I hope I'm adequate enough for the job. I desire so badly for Abigail to be the woman God created her to be...the kind of woman I want to be...that I wish I was. Admonish me if you will, but within the depths of my heart I believe that training begins from day 1. I'll enjoy each day, but I'll know that each day is in preparation for the day when she, my daughter, sits at a computer of her own contemplating the imminent arrival of her firstborn.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience...

The Joys of John

2009-05-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Mr. Wonderful has struck again, and his time in the form of a most memorable Mother's Day gift. John bought me a beautiful necklace to commemorate my first Mother's Day, and I could not have been more touched. These last few weeks have been fraught with anticipation of the arrival of Abigail, filled with fear and worry about the raising of her (mostly on my part), and cherished as the last days before parental duty sets in. My husband has made these everyday moments memorable and precious.He has completed his seemingly endless "honey-do list", and not complained about my incessant nesting. I cannot wait to see him step into the role of father, and I know that as such he will provide me with more memorable moments than I can even begin to write about...

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-05-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

This week I will meet you. I cannot begin to imagine what it will be like to see your sweet face. After 3 weeks of contractions I have been feeling like you would never come, but wonderful Dr. Frances said he would help you along a little bit on Wednesday. Everything is ready for you, your room with it's farm animals, your car seat, your stroller, your swing. Daddy picked out the cutest dress for you to wear home. So many people are anxiously awaiting word of your arrival. There cannot be a little girl as desired or as anticipated as you. I think back over the many letters I have written to you...from the first moment I knew you grew within me, and I am amazed to know how much I have come to know you and love you already. How amazing it is to know that the next letter will be written after your arrival! One last time I ask you, grow strong and healthy my sweet boppli...

Mommy loves you...

With Utmost Anticipation

2009-05-04T05:25:00.000-07:00

John and I are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Over a week ago I began having contractions off and on, and this has led to a sense that the beginning of labor must be immediately impending. Each day is fraught with questions about the appearance of labor warning signs. John is constantly tilting his head and giving me "the look". The nesting instinct has overcome me as I fold and refold tiny clothes, arrange and rearrange her sweet nursery. How eager we are to meet this beloved little person! All day, all night, my thoughts are upon the moment when our daughter will decide that it's time to join us.

This morning as I get ready to go to yet another doctor's appointment a thought occurred to me. There are so many who with the utmost anticipation await the arrival of Abigail Grace Davidson, and I must wonder if God's children hold their breaths in such angst for the return of our Savior. I cannot help but wonder how much more dearly I would know and love my Lord if I could sense His presence in my life, the way I sense Abigail's within my womb. And what if I would seek to know Him as much as I do my daughter. I cannot fathom why I do not look for the signs of His return. I do not prepare or ready myself for His arrival. Time and again I should fold and refold the areas of my life that need straightening out. Time and again I should arrange and rearrange my priorities to align them with His...

Heavenly Father, help me to await and prepare for your son's return with the utmost anticipation...

The Joys of John

2009-05-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

This week has marked the beginning of farming season. John has been back in his truck hauling fertilizer to the area farmers. I both anticipate and dread this time of year. It's an exciting time for Davidson Farms. The tractors and planters are being made ready for planting. I love the smell of dirt when the fields are disked up. The downside comes with long days being made even longer with my husband getting up before 4:30 and not getting home until after dark. These days mean good income for our family, but they also mean less time spent together. My sweetheart came in late one evening this week and suggested that we go on a final date before our little one arrives. I had been thinking of this myself, but it was a wonderful surprise to have him bring it up.

Last night we went out on our date. We consciously enjoyed every moment of just being together. He held my hand and looked into my eyes just like he has for nearly 3 years now. It was another wonderful memory that will be remembered fondly in the days, months, and years ahead. I'm so blessed to have this special man in my life.

When Two Become Three...

2009-04-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

For so long now John and I have talked, dreamt about, and imagined the day when our firstborn would arrive. In the midst of it all, the whole idea has been somewhat surreal...yesterday reality hit. Thursday night and Friday morning contractions began, and although I have yet to dilate reality sank in that our little Abbi will be arriving soon. Hormonal me just realized that my days of being only a wife are limited...very limited. I don't think that I ever expected to marry someone I like as much as I like John. I know that sounds bad, but I truly thought that I would weary of of endless hours spent with my husband. Oddly enough the opposite has proven true. The more time I spend with John, the more time I want. Each day I learn something new about this soulmate of mine and find myself falling deeper in love with him. Now the time is fast approaching when I will have to share this attention with another woman (albeit a tiny one). This morning my poor husband dealt with my tears as I tried to explain that I was jealous of our daughter...and she's not even here yet! He patiently reminded me that she would be the best parts of both of us...and that I will always be his first lady. He reminded me of all the adventures and experiences the Lord has in store for the 3 of us. How blessed am I to have someone such as John to love, and how wonderful to carry and raise his daughter. Once again my happiness is retored...I cannot wait to see my husband in a new light...as Daddy.

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-04-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

It won't be long now! I think you are beginning to weary of your small cacoon! Last night Mommy and Daddy had a bit of nervousness when we had 5 contractions in an hour...but finally you settled down and decided to wait it out a little while longer. This morning Mommy had some back labor, and the Dr. said to come in and see what was going on! The contractions are real but it's still not time, so Mommy must take it easy. I can only imagine how cramped you are in Mommy's belly...I know how cramped it feels! Wait just a short time more, my love, and then you can come! Mommy had a nesting frenzy yesterday (which probably explains the contractions). She cleaned her car, organized your room (for the 5th time), and scrubbed the house! Daddy and Boone thought I was acting odd. Poor Daddy has been sick, he caught it from Mommy, and is trying to get better so that he can be all healthy when you arrive. I'm so in love with you, my boppli. Each day my anticipation grows more and more. Daddy and I went shopping and picked out a special dress for you to come home in I know that each day will not be sunshine and roses, but each day will be blessed because of you. So wait...just a tiny bit longer...and then come to us. We cannot wait to meet you. Grow strong and healthy!

Mommy Loves You...

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-04-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

Well dear boppli, our time of being one is quickly coming to an end. Daddy cannot wait for you get here, but for Mommy it is bitter sweet. I have treasured every moment of carrying you, little one, even the unpleasant ones. Every stage of this pregnancy has been an answered prayer, and soon I will see with my own eyes what a wonderful miracle God has made! I will miss your presence in my womb, but how sweet it will be to hold you in my arms! Even now with 6 weeks to go, I can already sense a change in our little family. It is no longer just Daddy and I. We are so looking forward to being a family of four (including your puppy Boone). There are so many things that we want to do with you, to teach you, to show you. Already I am sad at how quickly time will go. Everyone is anxious to meet you, but not nearly as anxious as Daddy and I. I pray that you'll grow strong and healthy...that both you and Mommy will have an easy time in your coming. I pray that from your first breath you will know how much you are loved, by God, by Daddy & I, by Grandad and Nana, by Grandpa & Grandma, by Aunt Meme & Uncle Logan, by Uncle Joe & Aunt B, by Aunt Hannah and the twins, by Aunt Heather...you are blessed my daughter, spend your life blessing others.

Mommy Loves You...

More of the Bump

2009-04-05T08:32:00.001-07:00

Egg-static About Our Abbi

2009-04-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's my special Easter Egg! We couldn't be more "Egg-static" about our little girl's upcoming arrival!

Has Anyone Seen My Toes?

2009-03-31T07:33:00.000-07:00

Curses on Eve! I'm daring to wonder what pregnancy would have been like before that greedy woman ate the forbidden fruit! My God has a sense of humor I believe, and when he vowed to make childbirth difficult, I think he also meant the carrying of the babe.
One must either laugh or cry, so I am choosing to laugh!
Have you seen my toes? I think they are painted purple, although John likened them to gumdrops! It's been awhile since last I located them, but when I did my breathing was immediately interupted in the effort! My poor husband is dealing with my new condition of snoring, and he also has the enviable job of rolling me off my back when in the midst of my sleep my breathing becomes ragged...no small feat I assure you. I have been blessed with those squeezable cheeks all of my life, but it is quite comical to note that each cheek would require two hands to properly squeeze them! I had always thought I wanted a larger chest, but cleavage to the collarbone is not all it's cracked up to be! From the back I look like a box...I had a waistline once, didn't I? The sheer horror on people's faces when they realize we have 8 weeks to go is enough to send me into a fit of tears. To combat this malady, my best friend painted my belly like an Easter Egg. This was quite humorous...until the paint started cracking! Who in the world knew that one little tiny being could so alter my being even right down to my toes!
Surely it's worth it Lord I ask, even as I know the answer...And then I feel my sweet little girl move within me and all is right in my world!

The Joys of John

2009-03-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

During this winter's snow and ice storm, one of our sheds at the farm collapsed. This week John and the others began taking off the roof so repairs could begin. My husband was in Heaven when the task required the rental of a man lift. He delights in working with equipment! Sweet man that he is, he determined that I needed to see how this thing operated. He showed me all of the operations the man lift can perform, and patiently answered my questions. I soon found that his true motive for showing me this contraption was so that he could take me for a ride on it! We climbed into the basket and up, up, up, up we went. Now I am not normally afraid of heights, but this happened to be the day we had wind gusts of 15-20 miles an hour! I was a bit squeamish, and could envision the headlines that would appear should I plummet to the ground! John just put his arm around me and pointed out the beauty of seeing Davidson land from above. My fears eased, and I was instantly filled with a sense of pride for my husband and his family. We are so blessed! True romance is more than flowers and candles, it's found in thought filled gestures like rides in a man lift...

My Baby Bump

2009-03-26T08:29:00.001-07:00

Our dear friend Stephanie Willis allowed my baby bump to be her muse, and I think the pictures turned out beautifully! These are just a few of our favorites! I'll try to add more soon!

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-03-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well Little One, I don't think that I can call you that anymore. With more than 2 months to go in Mommy's belly you already weigh 3lbs! Mommy and Daddy now know what your sweet face looks like. We were blessed to know that you are still healthy, and relieved to know that you are indeed cute (I would have loved you anyway!)! Nana says it looks as though you have the Mattingly nose, so look out for fingers that will pinch it! You are quite the little contortionist with both feet up by your face. Mommy has a picture of you sucking on your toes! Mommy and Daddy were quite shocked when you gave us the bird. Daddy says he's sure you don't yet know what that means, but in the future that kind of behavior might result in a spanking! How we love you, our sweet baby girl. All her life, all Mommy wanted was a little boppli, andGod has answered her prayers with you! You are our greatest gift. I cannot wait to meet you. Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...

The Joys of John

2009-03-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Godly men are greatly lacking in our society so finding one is no small feat. Add to that the challenge of finding a godly man that you actually like, and you might as well be trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. I happen to be one of the few lucky women who has snatched up such a rare specimen, and in light of that I believe he deserves all the praise I can give him. The Joys of John will be my way of expressing my deepest gratitude for my wonderful husband. I hope that if your husband is worthy of such an honor you will too give credit where credit is do! In a world that holds the values of marriage so carelessly, it is encouraging to see those that despite it all are strong and enduring...

For as long as I have known John I have been asking for a chocolate lab puppy. He has always promised me that when the time was right I could have one. Nearly 3 years later still no puppy, but fate intervened! Through the grapevine I found out that an aquaintance had chocolate lab puppies that they were giving away...as in free. I managed to snag one of those little sweeties with the somewhat reserved approval of John. Boone is a joyful addition to our little family, but I didn't quite think through the reprecussions of having a puppy and being 7 months pregnant. Oops! John, who had considered this, has jumped in and helped me with Boone despite his misgivings. For several nights now he has joined me in Boone's many nightly bathroom breaks because I'm too scared to take him out in the dark by myself. John's selfless acts of love never cease to amaze me.

Yesterday John's mom and I were both given the first Easter Lillies of Spring...what a wonderful man he is!

Waffle Night with the Davidson's

2009-03-06T06:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening after feeding the cows, John and I decided to make Belgian waffles for supper. Yum! While beating eggs whites, we decided to call his family to see if they'd like to join us. Suddenly we went from dinner for 2 to supper for 6! I wish we would have had a camera to film John and I scrambling around the kitchen mixing waffle batter, frying hashbrowns, cooking bacon, making tea, and setting the table. It was a frenzy of activity for sure! we accomplished all of this within about 30 minutes time and managed to look somewhat put together by the time everyone arrived. It was a good time of spontaneous fellowship. John and I were exhausted by the time everyone went home, but it was well worthwhile! I'm so blessed to have a husband who will jump in and get his hands dirty in the kitchen, who loves his family so much, and who is appreciative of the little things. I think I'll start a series of blogs called Bragging on John because that seems to be how all of my blogs turn out anyway!

Spring is in the Air...

2009-02-23T14:40:00.001-08:00

Spring on the Farm...I love it...I was meant for this life...

The first few signs of Spring are so subtle...unnoticeable really, if one's not looking. It seems as though (being the geek that I am) I have always been aware of the romanticism that can be found in our unpredictable Indiana weather. I pounce on the few mild days that begin popping up in the midst of winter's end. When the unmistakable scent on Spring arrives, I'm hard pressed to be content with Winter any longer.

Life on a farm has increased my appreciation for all things simple. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a farmer's wife...the wife of a man whose hands are never quite clean. I found my prince at OCU, and was ecstatic to learn that this intelligent, deep-thinking man was also a farmer. I remember the first time John brought me to meet his parents and to see his home...I knew that first time that I wanted this man and this life for my own. John took such pride in showing me the shop and the farm, the cows and the horses. I fell in love with this place nearly as quickly as I fell in love with him.

Oh yes, back to Spring! There's just something different about Spring on the farm. As I admitted earlier I have always been revitalized by the changing of seasons, but this, this is something I wish everyone could experience. You can see Spring coming weeks before it actually arrives. The Davidson men begin cleaning and greasing up equipment in preparation for planting time. Fields get ripped and disked. And the smell of dirt! Ah, who would have thought such a smell could bring such gladness into my heart, but alas it does! It is the beginning of long days. My sister-in-law and I jump in the tractors to bring cheer to our husbands who have been sitting in them for 12 hours or more. I don't think I will be able to fit into my little nook in the back of the tractor this year, and it saddens me more than one would think. Cows. My favorite part of farm life! Spring brings sweet little baby calves and the opening of the other pasture. The cows move like clockwork from one end of the pasture to another. Literally in single file, they follow the same path day in and day out. One can find the cows at a particular place in the pasture at a particular hour...no matter what. I like the dependable nature of cows. Spring means long horsback rides. I'm looking forward to this so much that my hands fairly itch to hold the reins. There are few things more romantic than horseback riding at sunset with Prince Charming...and he truly is just that. I have drifted in my thoughts again, forgive me...

Do not let all of my romanticism fool you, it's not an easy life, but it is the most rewarding one that I can imagine. There is a peace and a simplicity here that are hard to find these days, and I think they come from seeing God's creation in it's glory. The coming on Spring fills me with anticipation of all the things I have mentioned...this is my Heaven on Earth.

I hope that wherever you are, in your own piece of Heaven on Earth, that God reaches down and blesses you with the joy of Spring!

What I Do or Who I Am?

2009-02-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

For over a year now my faith has been in a state of stagnancy. Every effort that I have made to alter my lackadaisical attitude has proven to be fruitless.

It occurred to me the other day (long-term blonde moment) that I have been going through the dreaded wilderness period.

With this realization came the obvious awareness of my Lord saying, "Listen to me, Daughter!"

My reply, "Okay Lord, I'm listening...still listening...could you speak a little louder please?"

"Why do you love me?"

I have to admit this stumped me a bit...what answer did He want?

"I love you because you first loved me. You saw worth in me when all I saw was a lost cause."

"Daughter, why do you worship me?"

Ummm..."Because that's what I'm supposed to do if I love you..."

Silence...

So I had to wonder if my answer was wrong...and obviously He wasn't going to make it easy on me. I began taking a hard inward look at myself, and I soon had my answer.

I loved the Lord, I always have...okay that wasn't the issue. I do all the right things (or at least attempt to), so what was the problem?

"Daughter,Why Do You Worship Me?"

Now I know what the silence was all about. For years I have lived what I thought was a godly lifestyle, and it was...but there's more. The Lord was no longer content with me doing what I ought to do only because I ought to do it...

God wants me to live a life of worship because that's who I am, not what I do. A strong discontentment rose within me when I realized this. I don't want to act like a virtuous woman...I want to be one!

Goodbye lackadaisical attitude, and Hello desire! This is my mission. I will strive to take the love of my Father down into the marrow of my bones. I will ooze love because I cannot stop it. I will worship the Lord because that's Who I am, not What I Do. To start this journey, I have begun a daily devotional by Donna Paltrow called "Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A Study of Proverbs 31." It's transforming my heart.

If the Lord is tugging at your heart in the same manner I encourage you to succumb to His call...it is good for your soul.

No Eye Has Seen, No Ear Has Heard...

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-02-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

Young Lady, your daddy now believes that HE is your favorite! Mommy is quite hurt by the fact the you only have to hear Daddy's voice and hours of stillness abruptly end in delightful dancing. Daddy gloats about this, and Mommy is beginning to think you just might be a Daddy's girl already. The other morning you and Daddy had a date. Mommy was sound asleep, but at 3 a.m. you must have felt the need for time alone with Daddy. He put his hand on Mommy's belly, and was delighted to feel you kicking and flipping about. How happy you made him! He adored spending time with his little girl...especially without Mommy! This little "date" and your new trick of dancing when he speaks has eased Daddy's jealousy that Mommy gets to be with you all the time. I do not think a little girl has ever been loved as much as we love you. Nana says Mommy glows, but I think she only says this to make Mommy feel better about her big belly! All went well at our last check up. It won't be long now before we get to see our little boppli! Remember little Abigail, that Daddy may have the pretty voice, but Mommy has the warm belly! Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...

Dear Abigail Grace,

2009-01-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

Can you even begin to phathom, my sweet boppli, what a blessing it is to know you, to feel you move, to see you grow? You move so much now, and each week those little kicks and punches become stronger. You put on quite a show for cousin Brandi and her ultrasound machine yesterday! You danced and swayed, stretched and curled up. You have quite big feet too, I must say! Cousin Brandi says you are a tad on the big side. (Can you imagine?! Mommy is only 4'10"!) You must take after Daddy! How glad I am that you are indeed strong and healthy! Already you bring so much happiness to my life. Each day Daddy and I begin to know you more and more. We know that you are a little stinker, laying still when Daddy wants to feel you kick! We know you have Rainey blood in you already as hyper as you seem to be. We know you love worship music, and quiet times when Mommy and Daddy whisper about you. We know your name, and we pray about the young lady you will one day become. Remember Abigail, that your name means "her father's joy." Always strive, dear one, to bring joy to your Father's heart and to your Daddy's as well. God loves you. He has a plan for you. Psalm 139 says that He knows your innermost parts, and all of your words before you even speak them. He knows YOU. Follow Him, sweet boppli, all the days of your life...Grow Strong and Healthy.

Mommy Loves You...

There's No Place Like Home

2009-01-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

A New Year, A New Home, & A New Life

2009-01-05T06:34:00.000-08:00

2009 holds much promise for the Davidson family!

A New Home:
John and I will finally move into our new home this week. Many of you know that this has been a long, exciting, frustrating, and somewhat agonizng processs for us, but the wait has certainly been worth it. Over a year ago we were able to buy a 3 acre piece of land in the midst of Davidson country. This was our dream spot, and the Lord has allowed us to build our home in a location that is truly a sanctuary for us both. (To understand the charm of our little corner of the world you must come and visit us!) Our land overlooks a beautiful hilly pasture, and behind the house is a deep ravine that opens up tp a gorgeous view (including Davidson Cemetery). We are surrounded on three sides by trees and woods, and I can just envision the fun our little ones will have growing up in this setting. John daydreams of building a zip line that will propel our children down the gully, but as of now I am nixing this idea! God truly had his hand upon us in the choosing and building of a home that is just right for us. (I will try to post pictures soon!) John's parents have been gracious enough to let us live in their basement since our wedding, but the time has come to leave the nest (particularly since our first child is due in 4 months!) We pray that this home will not only be a place of peace for us, but for all who walk through it's doors (You all are welcome anytime).

A New Life:
Abigail Grace Davidson...how I love the sound of that name! Our little girl is making her presence in Mommy's belly known! She's an active little lady, which I attribute to the Rainey blood flowing through her veins! (For those of you fortunate enough know a Rainey, you are very aware of this hyper-active tendency) I have been blessed with a smooth pregnancy thusfar, minus my incident of falling down the stairs right before Christmas! (Abigail seemed to love this little adventure, while I had many bumps and bruises to show for my mishap) John cannot wait for our little boppli to arrive! He's ready to play, to take her hunting, and all the other things Daddy's do with their little girls. God has blessed me with the most wonderful husband, and Abigail could not have a better Daddy. John has been anxiously awaiting the time when he too could feel Abbi's kicks, and finally the day has arrived! We cannot wait to meet our little girl face-to-face! May 30 is our anticipated due date, but we are hoping she'll come a little sooner as that's Aunt Meme's (my sister Mary's) graduation day. We are anxious to be a family of three, and to begin the adventures of parenting. God has blessed John and I far beyond measure!

At the beginning of this new year, this new month, this new day, and this new hour, I am so excited to see what plans our Lord has in store for us!

Dear Boppli,

2008-12-29T07:31:00.001-08:00

Well Abigail Grace. you and I had a close call last week! Mommy, despite 13 years of dance classes, managed to fall down 15 stairs! My first thought when I landed at the bottom was "Please Lord, let my baby girl be okay!" and you were. Mommy was bruised and battered all over, but you my sweet little boppli were kicking to the beat of the band. Grandma says you must have liked your first tumbling lesson. How broken my heart would have been to lose my sweet daughter, but the Lord was looking out for both you and I that day. As I always say, grow strong and healthy my beloved boppli!

Mommy Loves You

Dear Boppli,

2008-12-22T13:31:00.000-08:00

For so long now Daddy and I have waited to know you, our precious little one, and when that day finally arrives you prove to be stubborn! Do you know my sweet boppli, how frustrating it is to only be 80% sure that you are a girl? Not once did you give the poor nurse a good glimpse! You are already proving that your Rainey blood is flowing proudly through your veins my little stinker. Abigail Grace, Daddy and I love to say your name. He had a dream about you the night before the ultrasound...he dreamt that you were a girl. He dreamt about when we brought you home for the first time, about your first haircut, and your first day at school. We wonder if the Lord was giving us just a small glimpse into your life. We daydream about all of the things we will do with you, all the things we will teach you. Daddy wants to take you hunting with him, and Mommy wants to teach you to tumble and to dance. We want to take you to see the mountains, and we want to help you show a pig at the fair. So many wonderful and exciting experiences lie ahead of us. You are growing bigger and stronger by the day. Your kicks are no longer just little flutters, but neither are they strong enough for Daddy to feel. Keep growing my dear Abigail...We can't wait to meet you.

Mommy Loves You

Dear Boppli,

2008-12-01T14:36:00.000-08:00

Soon, very soon, Mommy and Daddy will know whether you are a little boy or girl. We're so anxious to know and to call you by name. Mommy has begun to feel your moving and tumbling around...like little butterflies in her belly. During praise time at church yesterday, you moved and Daddy was thrilled to know that already you are worshipping the Lord along with us. SO much growing you are doing! You have little fingernails and toenails. Your little eyelids are formed, and you respond to light. How could anyone believe you are anything but a precious life?! Psalm 139 says that the Lord "knew you before He knit you together in your mother's womb." Even now the God knows and loves every figment of your being...just like Mommy and Daddy. You are such a part of me, my little one, and to feel you brings such joy to my heart. We are so grateful for you. Grow strong and healthy, my sweet boppli.

Mommy Loves You

Dear Boppli,

2008-11-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

Mommy got to see you again on Wednesday, and my how you have grown! During the ultrasound you were quite the little wiggley worm...a gymnast like your mommy maybe? The nurse could hardly get you to hold still long enough to hear your heartbeat. Keep moving little one, soon Mommy will feel your tumbling around! You cannot imagine the joy that will flow over me the first time I feel you move. You are such a blessing already, my boppli. Much is going on in our little corner of the world. Uncle Joe married Aunt Brittany, and in Mommy's belly you witnessed the whole thing. This week we finished up harvest, saw our first snow flurries, and had a grain bin fire! Our home is nearly finished, and soon Mommy and Daddy will move in and wait for you to join us. God has blessed us beyond measure my little one! Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...

Dear Boppli,

2008-11-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well my precious little one we have reached a milestone. You and I have been a couple for 3 months now. Mommy has survived the dreaded first trimester. Daddy and I have begun reading to you each night. Mamaw found us a big box of Daddy's books from when he was a boppli himself. Mommy's tummy is beginning to to stick out, and your daddy loves to lay his head on it so that he can be near you. Soon we will know if you are a little boy or girl...Daddy is so excited. He wishes you could come out and play right now! Mommy loves having you grow within her. Each week Daddy and I look to see how you are changing and growing. We have been praying about your name and have finally decided on two (for now). William Brian Davidson if you are a boy. William is your daddy's favorite name, and he wants to call you Will. Brian comes from my daddy, and you will be honored to have that name especially once you know him. If you are a little girl, we will call you Abigail Grace Davidson. Abigail means "her father's joy" and truly you will be that my sweet one. By our Lord's grace you have come to be in our lives and so Grace it is. Your last name is very special to both your daddy and I. What an honor it was for mommy to take Daddy's last name on her wedding day. It is a name to be proud of, little one, always bring honor to it. We are so eager to meet you, to know you...already we are in love with you. Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...

Refined By Fire

2008-10-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

A deep and contemplative mood has come over me.
Reality struck me on the way home today...
John and I are bringing a precious new life into a skewed and demented world.

I want my little one to love the Lord.
I want him to be unscathed by the ugliness that pervades humanity.
I want him to see the world through God's perspective.
I want him to know wrong is wrong and right is right.
I want my Boppli to watch his mommy and daddy fall to their knees each night.
I want him to know that life is all about loving others.
I want him to value the simple things in life like the putter of a tractor and moo of a cow.
I want him to give up his wants so that he might fulfill someone's needs.
I want my little one to have his Father's heart.

And then I realize...
I want these things for myself too.
I pray for a refining of my spirit.

May I, in all that I am, reflect all of the qualities I want my little one to have.

Dear Boppli,

2008-10-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

You had your first picture taken the other day! Daddy and Mommy both got tears in our eyes when we saw you for the first time. For most of my life I have dreamed of the day when I would first see my little one, and it was more wonderful than I could have imagined. It is amazing to see that you are only 2 centimeters long, yet you are nearly fully formed! Daddy has stared at your pictures everyday since...He loves you so. We both do. We daydream about all of the things we will teach you and of the wonderful adventures we will have together. We are trying to pick out a name for you too! Daddy loves William Brian if you are a boy, and Mommy likes the name Sawyer Nicholas. Olivia Jean and Abigail Grace are the girl names we have chosen if you happen to be a girl. Each name has a special meaning that Mommy and Daddy will explain to you someday. We cannot wait to meet you, our beloved little Boppli.

Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You

6 Things You Don't know About Me

2008-10-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Oh Dear...

1. I'm Obsessive Compulsive. Even numbers bother me. I do things in intervals of 3. I can't sleep if the closet door isn't completely shut. Things HAVE to be arranged in a certain order. You get the idea.

2. I can drive and operate the Davidson Farms Backhoe!

3. I sucked my thumb until an embarassing age (12).

4. I rub my earlobe, or my husband's, to fall asleep.

5. If I could do anything in the world, I would be an international Christian journalist.

6. I'm taller than Chelsa by and inch and a half!

*Bonus* I can shoot a shotgun!

My Cousin Than

2008-10-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

Nearly all of my childhood memories include my Rainey boy cousins. I was the first Rainey girl after a series of 8 Rainey boys and needless to say everyone was a bit befuddled as to what to do with me. My cousins, Larry, Than, Matthew, and Nicholas, didn't have this problem; they all knew exactly what to do with me. I remember being stuffed in clothes hampers, stuck up in trees, buried up to my neck in dirt...you name it and it happened. (I must insert a disclaimer on their behalf: I was bossy, whiny, and annoying.)

Around the time we all became teenagers our relationships began to change. Than went to high school and was named "Best Looking." Matthew joined him there and played percusion in the band. Nicholas and I remained best friends until his passing my senior year. Larry grew up and did his own thing.

For a long period of time when there was a gap between Than and I, and for years this broke my heart. I wanted so much to be close to this young man that I had always looked up to, that I still looked up to.

Time has come and gone. Than married a wonderful woman that I dearly love. They had a sweet little girl and moved to India for a year. While they were gone, I grew up in many ways. By the time they arrived home they were expecting their second child and I was engaged. Than and I started tearing down the wall that had been there for so long, and the process has continued for the last year or so.

Last night John and I had dinner with Than and Brandi. I had tears in my eyes on the way home as my husband and I talked about how wonderful it was to fellowship with them. The wall is gone and so is the distance. I listened to my cousin speak last night and realized that we have the same heart. I look at him now and smile to still see the little boy I adored, but shining through even stronger is the wonderful man that he has become.

My heart is blessed today because of last night with him, my cousin Than.

My Husband's Hands

2008-10-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

My Husband’s Hands
5-31-08

My husband’s hands are tender. They rub tired feet and massage tension filled shoulders…
My husband’s hands are capable. They shift through the gears of a Peterbilt semi and guide a tractor through the fields…
My husband’s hands are creative. They transfer the thoughts of his mind to paper and write stories of days gone by…
My husband’s hands are industrious. They maneuver nuts and bolts and find ways to mend what’s broken…
My husband’s hands are gentle. They never move in anger and never seek to harm…
My husband’s hands are helpful. They open jar lids, carry heavy loads, and reach for things up high…
My husband’s hands are considerate. They open doors, pull out chairs, and guide me at the small of my back…
My husband’s hands are never quite clean. They are stained by oil and grease and remind me that he’ll always provide…
My husband’s hands are giving. They offer rides to hitch hikers and reach into his billfold to give to those in need…
My husband’s hands are scarred. They bear the marks of his hard work and are reminders of his adventures…
My husband’s hands are saving grace. They rescue turtles from the road, scoop fallen eggs back into their nest, and gives bottles to a starving calf…
My husband’s hands are compassionate. They wipe tears from my eyes and hold me until all my worries melt away…
My husband’s hands are faithful. They turn the pages of his Bible and intertwine to pray…
My husband’s hands are all the things a good man’s hands should be. They tell the story of a hardworking man who praises his God and loves his wife…

As I hold my husband’s hands, I see how blessed I am…
As I hold my husband’s hands, I feel his goodness soak into me…
As I hold my husband’s hands in mine, I pray that I am worthy to hold such hands as his…

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“Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all of your might…” Ecclesiastes 9:10

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My husband inspires me...

Dear Boppli,

2008-10-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Boppli,

I love this time of year. The leaves are changing and beginning to fall. The sky is more blue than usual. The days are getting cooler. It is a good time to live on a farm. Your Daddy is hard at work harvesting our corn and beans. I wish your little eyes could watch him work, see him doing all the things he loves to do. Your Daddy is a special man. He works hard for us, for you and me. Your Daddy spends long hours working on the farm and driving his truck. Today Daddy spent most of the day fixing the pasture fence because some of the cows broke it down. This work, for a time, is God's plan for your Daddy's life. Your Daddy went to school to be a teacher, but the Lord touched his heart and guided him to work with Papaw and Uncle Joe. Your Daddy listened, and the Lord has blessed our family because of your Daddy's willing heart. I pray that you are born with a heart like your Daddy's.

In the book of Jeremiah it says, "I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart.."

Even now, as you grow in Mommy's belly, God loves you and He knows you. The Lord has a wonderful plan for your life. Already He knows the great things that you are destined to do. Listen to Him, my Boppli, know Him, follow Him, serve Him. I pray that the compass of your heart always points to Him. I hope that you will have a servant's heart that longs to help others. I pray that you will not demand your own way, but that you joyfully will answer God's call. May your heart be like your Daddy's, a heart that seeks to please God.

I'm so glad that you are with me this Fall season. Grow strong and healthy, my Boppli...

Mommy loves you

Dear Boppli,

2008-10-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Boppli,

You and I have been a couple for 6 weeks now. Your heart is beating, and you are growing everyday. Daddy is excited because this week your eyes move to the front of your head! Your Grandad, Grandma, Papaw, and Mamaw all found out that you are on your way. We surprised them with a shirt Mommy wore that says, "Baby Davidson Under Construction." You are loved, little one, more than any child has ever been loved. You are wanted and treasured even now, and for as long as I can remember I have wanted to be your mommy. Daddy and I pray for you everyday. We want you to know the Lord all of the days of your life because even before you were ours you belonged to Him. Grow strong and healthy, my Boppli...

Mommy Loves You