The Proof

This is Courtney posting for your proud parents.

Abigail,

As I was on my second visit today to see you little Miss Abigail, Mommy kept calling you her "proof". The proof I saw today was the proof of God's Love! That love brought your Mommy and Daddy together, Abbi. The love that has been felt as you wiggled inside Mommy's belly for 9 mo. The love the family felt as your birth day grew closer.

Abigail Grace Davidson

born 5-20-09

6:09 pm

6 lbs 13oz 20 in

You are so tiny and petite like your Mama with buttery, tan skin like your Daddy. Aunt Courtney does not know who you look like but I fell in love with your soft eyes as soon as I saw them. I am so excited you are here now. My Leah will always have a playmate :)

God is Good!

I love you Abbi,

Aunt Courtney

3 a.m.

It's 3:00 a.m. (hence the title, clever I know) and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. For years this day has been imagined within the confines of my mind, and now in mere hours the yearnings of my heart and mind will become reality. How does one sleep in a time such as this? This lady cannot, although her snoring husband does not face such maladies. A few moments ago I lay there looking at him...wondering. I pray that our daughter is like her daddy. He's such a strong, good man. He's the best person I know.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. Curse Eve for making what could have been an altogether pleasant experience painful. Today is the first day of mothering a sweet little girl, of training her up in the way she should go. John and I fervently believe that parenting, particularly a godly child in today's secular world, is a daily effort. I hope I'm adequate enough for the job. I desire so badly for Abigail to be the woman God created her to be...the kind of woman I want to be...that I wish I was. Admonish me if you will, but within the depths of my heart I believe that training begins from day 1. I'll enjoy each day, but I'll know that each day is in preparation for the day when she, my daughter, sits at a computer of her own contemplating the imminent arrival of her firstborn.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience...

The Joys of John

Mr. Wonderful has struck again, and his time in the form of a most memorable Mother's Day gift. John bought me a beautiful necklace to commemorate my first Mother's Day, and I could not have been more touched. These last few weeks have been fraught with anticipation of the arrival of Abigail, filled with fear and worry about the raising of her (mostly on my part), and cherished as the last days before parental duty sets in. My husband has made these everyday moments memorable and precious.He has completed his seemingly endless "honey-do list", and not complained about my incessant nesting. I cannot wait to see him step into the role of father, and I know that as such he will provide me with more memorable moments than I can even begin to write about...

Dear Abigail Grace,

This week I will meet you. I cannot begin to imagine what it will be like to see your sweet face. After 3 weeks of contractions I have been feeling like you would never come, but wonderful Dr. Frances said he would help you along a little bit on Wednesday. Everything is ready for you, your room with it's farm animals, your car seat, your stroller, your swing. Daddy picked out the cutest dress for you to wear home. So many people are anxiously awaiting word of your arrival. There cannot be a little girl as desired or as anticipated as you. I think back over the many letters I have written to you...from the first moment I knew you grew within me, and I am amazed to know how much I have come to know you and love you already. How amazing it is to know that the next letter will be written after your arrival! One last time I ask you, grow strong and healthy my sweet boppli...

Mommy loves you...

With Utmost Anticipation

John and I are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Over a week ago I began having contractions off and on, and this has led to a sense that the beginning of labor must be immediately impending. Each day is fraught with questions about the appearance of labor warning signs. John is constantly tilting his head and giving me "the look". The nesting instinct has overcome me as I fold and refold tiny clothes, arrange and rearrange her sweet nursery. How eager we are to meet this beloved little person! All day, all night, my thoughts are upon the moment when our daughter will decide that it's time to join us.

This morning as I get ready to go to yet another doctor's appointment a thought occurred to me. There are so many who with the utmost anticipation await the arrival of Abigail Grace Davidson, and I must wonder if God's children hold their breaths in such angst for the return of our Savior. I cannot help but wonder how much more dearly I would know and love my Lord if I could sense His presence in my life, the way I sense Abigail's within my womb. And what if I would seek to know Him as much as I do my daughter. I cannot fathom why I do not look for the signs of His return. I do not prepare or ready myself for His arrival. Time and again I should fold and refold the areas of my life that need straightening out. Time and again I should arrange and rearrange my priorities to align them with His...

Heavenly Father, help me to await and prepare for your son's return with the utmost anticipation...

The Joys of John

This week has marked the beginning of farming season. John has been back in his truck hauling fertilizer to the area farmers. I both anticipate and dread this time of year. It's an exciting time for Davidson Farms. The tractors and planters are being made ready for planting. I love the smell of dirt when the fields are disked up. The downside comes with long days being made even longer with my husband getting up before 4:30 and not getting home until after dark. These days mean good income for our family, but they also mean less time spent together. My sweetheart came in late one evening this week and suggested that we go on a final date before our little one arrives. I had been thinking of this myself, but it was a wonderful surprise to have him bring it up.

Last night we went out on our date. We consciously enjoyed every moment of just being together. He held my hand and looked into my eyes just like he has for nearly 3 years now. It was another wonderful memory that will be remembered fondly in the days, months, and years ahead. I'm so blessed to have this special man in my life.

When Two Become Three...

For so long now John and I have talked, dreamt about, and imagined the day when our firstborn would arrive. In the midst of it all, the whole idea has been somewhat surreal...yesterday reality hit. Thursday night and Friday morning contractions began, and although I have yet to dilate reality sank in that our little Abbi will be arriving soon. Hormonal me just realized that my days of being only a wife are limited...very limited. I don't think that I ever expected to marry someone I like as much as I like John. I know that sounds bad, but I truly thought that I would weary of of endless hours spent with my husband. Oddly enough the opposite has proven true. The more time I spend with John, the more time I want. Each day I learn something new about this soulmate of mine and find myself falling deeper in love with him. Now the time is fast approaching when I will have to share this attention with another woman (albeit a tiny one). This morning my poor husband dealt with my tears as I tried to explain that I was jealous of our daughter...and she's not even here yet! He patiently reminded me that she would be the best parts of both of us...and that I will always be his first lady. He reminded me of all the adventures and experiences the Lord has in store for the 3 of us. How blessed am I to have someone such as John to love, and how wonderful to carry and raise his daughter. Once again my happiness is retored...I cannot wait to see my husband in a new light...as Daddy.

Dear Abigail Grace,

It won't be long now! I think you are beginning to weary of your small cacoon! Last night Mommy and Daddy had a bit of nervousness when we had 5 contractions in an hour...but finally you settled down and decided to wait it out a little while longer. This morning Mommy had some back labor, and the Dr. said to come in and see what was going on! The contractions are real but it's still not time, so Mommy must take it easy. I can only imagine how cramped you are in Mommy's belly...I know how cramped it feels! Wait just a short time more, my love, and then you can come! Mommy had a nesting frenzy yesterday (which probably explains the contractions). She cleaned her car, organized your room (for the 5th time), and scrubbed the house! Daddy and Boone thought I was acting odd. Poor Daddy has been sick, he caught it from Mommy, and is trying to get better so that he can be all healthy when you arrive. I'm so in love with you, my boppli. Each day my anticipation grows more and more. Daddy and I went shopping and picked out a special dress for you to come home in I know that each day will not be sunshine and roses, but each day will be blessed because of you. So wait...just a tiny bit longer...and then come to us. We cannot wait to meet you. Grow strong and healthy!

Mommy Loves You...

Dear Abigail Grace,

Well dear boppli, our time of being one is quickly coming to an end. Daddy cannot wait for you get here, but for Mommy it is bitter sweet. I have treasured every moment of carrying you, little one, even the unpleasant ones. Every stage of this pregnancy has been an answered prayer, and soon I will see with my own eyes what a wonderful miracle God has made! I will miss your presence in my womb, but how sweet it will be to hold you in my arms! Even now with 6 weeks to go, I can already sense a change in our little family. It is no longer just Daddy and I. We are so looking forward to being a family of four (including your puppy Boone). There are so many things that we want to do with you, to teach you, to show you. Already I am sad at how quickly time will go. Everyone is anxious to meet you, but not nearly as anxious as Daddy and I. I pray that you'll grow strong and healthy...that both you and Mommy will have an easy time in your coming. I pray that from your first breath you will know how much you are loved, by God, by Daddy & I, by Grandad and Nana, by Grandpa & Grandma, by Aunt Meme & Uncle Logan, by Uncle Joe & Aunt B, by Aunt Hannah and the twins, by Aunt Heather...you are blessed my daughter, spend your life blessing others.

Mommy Loves You...

More of the Bump

Egg-static About Our Abbi

Here's my special Easter Egg! We couldn't be more "Egg-static" about our little girl's upcoming arrival!

Has Anyone Seen My Toes?

Curses on Eve! I'm daring to wonder what pregnancy would have been like before that greedy woman ate the forbidden fruit! My God has a sense of humor I believe, and when he vowed to make childbirth difficult, I think he also meant the carrying of the babe.
One must either laugh or cry, so I am choosing to laugh!
Have you seen my toes? I think they are painted purple, although John likened them to gumdrops! It's been awhile since last I located them, but when I did my breathing was immediately interupted in the effort! My poor husband is dealing with my new condition of snoring, and he also has the enviable job of rolling me off my back when in the midst of my sleep my breathing becomes ragged...no small feat I assure you. I have been blessed with those squeezable cheeks all of my life, but it is quite comical to note that each cheek would require two hands to properly squeeze them! I had always thought I wanted a larger chest, but cleavage to the collarbone is not all it's cracked up to be! From the back I look like a box...I had a waistline once, didn't I? The sheer horror on people's faces when they realize we have 8 weeks to go is enough to send me into a fit of tears. To combat this malady, my best friend painted my belly like an Easter Egg. This was quite humorous...until the paint started cracking! Who in the world knew that one little tiny being could so alter my being even right down to my toes!
Surely it's worth it Lord I ask, even as I know the answer...And then I feel my sweet little girl move within me and all is right in my world!

The Joys of John

During this winter's snow and ice storm, one of our sheds at the farm collapsed. This week John and the others began taking off the roof so repairs could begin. My husband was in Heaven when the task required the rental of a man lift. He delights in working with equipment! Sweet man that he is, he determined that I needed to see how this thing operated. He showed me all of the operations the man lift can perform, and patiently answered my questions. I soon found that his true motive for showing me this contraption was so that he could take me for a ride on it! We climbed into the basket and up, up, up, up we went. Now I am not normally afraid of heights, but this happened to be the day we had wind gusts of 15-20 miles an hour! I was a bit squeamish, and could envision the headlines that would appear should I plummet to the ground! John just put his arm around me and pointed out the beauty of seeing Davidson land from above. My fears eased, and I was instantly filled with a sense of pride for my husband and his family. We are so blessed! True romance is more than flowers and candles, it's found in thought filled gestures like rides in a man lift...

My Baby Bump

Our dear friend Stephanie Willis allowed my baby bump to be her muse, and I think the pictures turned out beautifully! These are just a few of our favorites! I'll try to add more soon!

Dear Abigail Grace,

Well Little One, I don't think that I can call you that anymore. With more than 2 months to go in Mommy's belly you already weigh 3lbs! Mommy and Daddy now know what your sweet face looks like. We were blessed to know that you are still healthy, and relieved to know that you are indeed cute (I would have loved you anyway!)! Nana says it looks as though you have the Mattingly nose, so look out for fingers that will pinch it! You are quite the little contortionist with both feet up by your face. Mommy has a picture of you sucking on your toes! Mommy and Daddy were quite shocked when you gave us the bird. Daddy says he's sure you don't yet know what that means, but in the future that kind of behavior might result in a spanking! How we love you, our sweet baby girl. All her life, all Mommy wanted was a little boppli, andGod has answered her prayers with you! You are our greatest gift. I cannot wait to meet you. Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...

The Joys of John

Godly men are greatly lacking in our society so finding one is no small feat. Add to that the challenge of finding a godly man that you actually like, and you might as well be trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. I happen to be one of the few lucky women who has snatched up such a rare specimen, and in light of that I believe he deserves all the praise I can give him. The Joys of John will be my way of expressing my deepest gratitude for my wonderful husband. I hope that if your husband is worthy of such an honor you will too give credit where credit is do! In a world that holds the values of marriage so carelessly, it is encouraging to see those that despite it all are strong and enduring...

For as long as I have known John I have been asking for a chocolate lab puppy. He has always promised me that when the time was right I could have one. Nearly 3 years later still no puppy, but fate intervened! Through the grapevine I found out that an aquaintance had chocolate lab puppies that they were giving away...as in free. I managed to snag one of those little sweeties with the somewhat reserved approval of John. Boone is a joyful addition to our little family, but I didn't quite think through the reprecussions of having a puppy and being 7 months pregnant. Oops! John, who had considered this, has jumped in and helped me with Boone despite his misgivings. For several nights now he has joined me in Boone's many nightly bathroom breaks because I'm too scared to take him out in the dark by myself. John's selfless acts of love never cease to amaze me.

Yesterday John's mom and I were both given the first Easter Lillies of Spring...what a wonderful man he is!

Waffle Night with the Davidson's

Yesterday evening after feeding the cows, John and I decided to make Belgian waffles for supper. Yum! While beating eggs whites, we decided to call his family to see if they'd like to join us. Suddenly we went from dinner for 2 to supper for 6! I wish we would have had a camera to film John and I scrambling around the kitchen mixing waffle batter, frying hashbrowns, cooking bacon, making tea, and setting the table. It was a frenzy of activity for sure! we accomplished all of this within about 30 minutes time and managed to look somewhat put together by the time everyone arrived. It was a good time of spontaneous fellowship. John and I were exhausted by the time everyone went home, but it was well worthwhile! I'm so blessed to have a husband who will jump in and get his hands dirty in the kitchen, who loves his family so much, and who is appreciative of the little things. I think I'll start a series of blogs called Bragging on John because that seems to be how all of my blogs turn out anyway!

Spring is in the Air...

Spring on the Farm...I love it...I was meant for this life...

The first few signs of Spring are so subtle...unnoticeable really, if one's not looking. It seems as though (being the geek that I am) I have always been aware of the romanticism that can be found in our unpredictable Indiana weather. I pounce on the few mild days that begin popping up in the midst of winter's end. When the unmistakable scent on Spring arrives, I'm hard pressed to be content with Winter any longer.

Life on a farm has increased my appreciation for all things simple. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a farmer's wife...the wife of a man whose hands are never quite clean. I found my prince at OCU, and was ecstatic to learn that this intelligent, deep-thinking man was also a farmer. I remember the first time John brought me to meet his parents and to see his home...I knew that first time that I wanted this man and this life for my own. John took such pride in showing me the shop and the farm, the cows and the horses. I fell in love with this place nearly as quickly as I fell in love with him.

Oh yes, back to Spring! There's just something different about Spring on the farm. As I admitted earlier I have always been revitalized by the changing of seasons, but this, this is something I wish everyone could experience. You can see Spring coming weeks before it actually arrives. The Davidson men begin cleaning and greasing up equipment in preparation for planting time. Fields get ripped and disked. And the smell of dirt! Ah, who would have thought such a smell could bring such gladness into my heart, but alas it does! It is the beginning of long days. My sister-in-law and I jump in the tractors to bring cheer to our husbands who have been sitting in them for 12 hours or more. I don't think I will be able to fit into my little nook in the back of the tractor this year, and it saddens me more than one would think. Cows. My favorite part of farm life! Spring brings sweet little baby calves and the opening of the other pasture. The cows move like clockwork from one end of the pasture to another. Literally in single file, they follow the same path day in and day out. One can find the cows at a particular place in the pasture at a particular hour...no matter what. I like the dependable nature of cows. Spring means long horsback rides. I'm looking forward to this so much that my hands fairly itch to hold the reins. There are few things more romantic than horseback riding at sunset with Prince Charming...and he truly is just that. I have drifted in my thoughts again, forgive me...

Do not let all of my romanticism fool you, it's not an easy life, but it is the most rewarding one that I can imagine. There is a peace and a simplicity here that are hard to find these days, and I think they come from seeing God's creation in it's glory. The coming on Spring fills me with anticipation of all the things I have mentioned...this is my Heaven on Earth.

I hope that wherever you are, in your own piece of Heaven on Earth, that God reaches down and blesses you with the joy of Spring!

What I Do or Who I Am?

For over a year now my faith has been in a state of stagnancy. Every effort that I have made to alter my lackadaisical attitude has proven to be fruitless.



It occurred to me the other day (long-term blonde moment) that I have been going through the dreaded wilderness period.



With this realization came the obvious awareness of my Lord saying, "Listen to me, Daughter!"



My reply, "Okay Lord, I'm listening...still listening...could you speak a little louder please?"



"Why do you love me?"



I have to admit this stumped me a bit...what answer did He want?

"I love you because you first loved me. You saw worth in me when all I saw was a lost cause."



"Daughter, why do you worship me?"



Ummm..."Because that's what I'm supposed to do if I love you..."



Silence...



So I had to wonder if my answer was wrong...and obviously He wasn't going to make it easy on me. I began taking a hard inward look at myself, and I soon had my answer.



I loved the Lord, I always have...okay that wasn't the issue. I do all the right things (or at least attempt to), so what was the problem?



"Daughter,Why Do You Worship Me?"



Now I know what the silence was all about. For years I have lived what I thought was a godly lifestyle, and it was...but there's more. The Lord was no longer content with me doing what I ought to do only because I ought to do it...



God wants me to live a life of worship because that's who I am, not what I do. A strong discontentment rose within me when I realized this. I don't want to act like a virtuous woman...I want to be one!



Goodbye lackadaisical attitude, and Hello desire! This is my mission. I will strive to take the love of my Father down into the marrow of my bones. I will ooze love because I cannot stop it. I will worship the Lord because that's Who I am, not What I Do. To start this journey, I have begun a daily devotional by Donna Paltrow called "Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A Study of Proverbs 31." It's transforming my heart.



If the Lord is tugging at your heart in the same manner I encourage you to succumb to His call...it is good for your soul.



No Eye Has Seen, No Ear Has Heard...

Dear Abigail Grace,

Young Lady, your daddy now believes that HE is your favorite!  Mommy is quite hurt by the fact the you only have to hear Daddy's voice and hours of stillness abruptly end in delightful dancing. Daddy gloats about this, and Mommy is beginning to think you just might be a Daddy's girl already.  The other morning you and Daddy had a date.  Mommy was sound asleep, but at 3 a.m. you must have felt the need for time alone with Daddy. He put his hand on Mommy's belly, and was delighted to feel you kicking and flipping about. How happy you made him! He adored spending time with his little girl...especially without Mommy! This little "date" and your new trick of dancing when he speaks has eased Daddy's jealousy that Mommy gets to be with you all the time. I do not think a little girl has ever been loved as much as we love you. Nana says Mommy glows, but I think she only says this to make Mommy feel better about her big belly!  All went well at our last check up.  It won't be long now before we get to see our little boppli!  Remember little Abigail, that Daddy may have the pretty voice, but Mommy has the warm belly! Grow Strong and Healthy...

Mommy Loves You...