Bumbos, Belly Fat, Brunette Hair, and Baby #2

Bumbo

If you have infants and do not own one of these it is a worthwhile purchase!

Abigail is 3 months old and "sitting up" on her own

She loves the freedom and independence of being able to sit and look around without Mommy.

Each time I set her in her bumbo, she looks around and grins when she realizes that she's on her own, so to speak.

I can admit with honesty and trepidation that my sweet baby girl has an attitude and an independent streak.

At some point I am certain this will get her into trouble, but for now we humor her nature knowing that we will "mold" it later.

Abigail is quite adept at throwing temper tantrums and her ear-splitting screams do grow wearisome, particularly when she is just doing it to be ornery.

John and I are (sadly enough) becoming antsy for the day when Little Miss Abigail can be disciplined for her Diva-Like behaviors as both he and I swear up and down that we will not have a daughter who behaves "like that."

Despite all this it is quite cute to see that little smile of accomplishment creep across her face each time she sits in her bumbo...

Belly Fat

I am sick to death of my flabby belly.

I have dieted and exercised until I am blue in the face and still the chub remains.

My sisters-in-law and I are beginning an intense workout schedule so hopefully I will see some progress.

I think my greatest fear is never truly feeling "good" about myself again.

I don't want to constantly be sucking or tucking in a chubby tummy!

Any mommies who have suggestions please pass them on!

Brunette Hair

For years now I have endured the maintenance of forcing my hair to be blonde.

Constant coloring and highlights are wearisome and expensive!

I recently began getting lowlights rather than highlights and after many compliments I decided to take the plunge!

I'm now a brunette and I love it!

Who said blondes have more fun anyway?!

Baby # 2

I wonder how many of you instantly saw the title of this blog and scrolled down to this section?!

First I will still your beating hearts and say "No" we are not expecting again!

It amazes me how having Abigail has brought out the wonderful Daddy in John.

I knew he would be a good father, but I could not have imagined how great he would be.

As soon as Abigail was born John declared that we were going to have "lots" of babies!

You can imagine how I felt having just been through the labor and delivery process!

Now that we are 3 months away from that moment, I am beginning to warm to the idea myself.

As my daughter grows and changes I wonder how similar or different the next little one will be.

It is amazing to see glimpses of John and I emerge in her, and I marvel at God's handiwork.

I am anxious to see how He will take the same combination and create an entirely unique human being.

When the time comes I will eagerly await baby #2 just as I did Abigail, but until then I am enjoying being a mommy of 1!

A Mommy Mess Up

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail had her first bottle of the day

We went and got groceries

Abigail has had thrush so Mommy put new clean nipples on bottles

Around 10:00 a.m. crying begins and Abigail won't eat

Continues throughout the day with crying becoming more intense

Mommy wants to pull her hair out

Around 8:00 p.m. crying continues but begins to wind down

Abigail finally relents and falls asleep

Peace and quiet restores Mommy to sanity

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail won't take her formula and crying begins again

We leave for church in Washington with a screaming baby in the backseat

Amazingly enough the quiet ceases during church

Around 10:00 a.m. Abigail takes her bottle but Mommy notices that level of formula doesn't decrease

Mommy takes bottle out of Abigail's mouth and shakes it

No hole in tip of nipple

Problem Solved

Mirror, Mirror

My daughter is fascinated with mirrors. At 10 weeks old there is nothing more exciting than studying her own reflection. She inspires me. Her innocence wrenches my heart. The other day as I watched her practice crying in her toy mirror, (fake crying I assure you) tears rolled down my face as I wondered how long she would enjoy this simple act. I realized that within a few short years she will likely look into a mirror with not contentment but disgust.

We live in a society that trains us as women to pick apart every nuance of ourselves that does not fit into the mold of the current standard of beauty. For as long as I can remember the mirror has been a foe of mine. My earliest memories are tainted by the devastation that anorexia and bulimia can wreak upon a family, my family. To this day I spend a ridiculous amount of time fretting over what to eat, truly whether or not to even eat. I worry over what size I am and what I will wear. I obsess over if I'm thin or fat, ugly or pretty, trendy or plain. I worry about whether or not my husband will love me or be attracted to me if I gain 5 pounds of have a pimple! It's a travesty to have my life saturated with the obsession of beauty.

I want more for Abigail. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she is a princess of the King of Kings. I want her to know that beauty, the true kind, comes from within. I want her to be filled with peace when she looks into the mirror. I want Abigail to treasure herself enough to dress modestly. I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful...truly gorgeous, and I want her to have an accurate standard against which to measure this. I want to be an example to her, to change my way of thinking. I want to make a conscious effort to train Abigail up with this mindset. Hold me accountable.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised

1 Peter 3:3-4 It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful.4 No, your beauty should come from within you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is very precious to God.

Cry of My Heart

In the last 6 years there has been an unusual amount of young lives lost: Nicholas Rainey, Holly Wirth, Walter Ayala, Seth Coy, and others. Each time a tragedy such as these occurs I am asked "Why?" and I know that truly this question is intended for God's ears and not my own. With all of my heart I believe that part of the reason God has allowed young lives to end is to remind us of the fragility of life. The Bible says that to each person there is an alloted number of days, no more and no less can be given. To you who are young: don't wait to change your life, don't wait to make God your priority. Begin a life of living for His glory now. To you who are old (adults): You know not the number of days that remain...make them count. If you know the Lord, be certain that your children do as well. We are not entitled to turn and shake our fists at God when we have wasted the precious gift of life He has given. My heart is breaking and crying out as I write this, (not for Seth (who passed away last night, I know that this young man loved the Lord and is in Jesus' arms right now) but for the countless numbers of young and old alike who endure loss after loss and still reject the love of Christ.

To Those of You Who Fall Under that Category, I write this:

Money will not satisfy you
Material Wealth will not make you happy
Success will not fulfill you
Alcohol and Drugs will not solve your problems
Sex and Relationships will not mend your heart

Turn to God. Share with Him your anger, hurt, depression, discontentment, anxieties, or whatever is holding you back. Allow yourself to soak in His forgiveness and move on in new life. Don't use God. God is not the 911 system to be used only in times of emergencies. He is a loving father who wants to Know YOU! He wants to rejoice with you in good times, and He wants to comfort you when tragedies occur. Your life is not judged on the good time you had last night, or the fact that you carry a Coach purse. Your life is judged by what you do with the number of days God has given you. Live for Him, not yourself. It is never too late or too early to change.

If I have offended any, I ask you first to look within your heart and examine why you take offense, and secondly if you find no reason then I ask your forgiveness.

Dear Abigail Grace,

My sweet little girl,
For two months now you have made my life a waking dream, although there were moments (very short ones) that seemed to be a nightmare. Mommy has struggled to get you into some semblance of a sleeping pattern, and finally we have succeeded! You are a night owl, just like your daddy. We consider it a small victory to get you to sleep before 11:00. Each day more facets of your personality emerge, and I stare at you with awe as the individuality of YOU appears. Too many times to count, Mommy and Daddy find ourselves with tears in our eyes as we thank God for the blessing of you. You bring such joy to us, Abigail. Everyday, every hour, every moment is appreciated and stored away in my mind.

I hope that always you will know how treasured you are, not only by Mommy and Daddy, but by your Heavenly Father as well. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Seek it. Fulfill it. The greatest accomplishment, the greatest joy, the most satisfying fulfillment will come not during your life, but at the end. Remember this, daughter. We do not live to store up treasures on earth. We do not live to please ourselves. We do not live to stand above others. We live and breathe to bring glory to the Lord who gave us life. We live to share love with others. No child has ever been as loved as you are, and I pray that this love will flow through you and from you into the lives of others. In every choice, in every action, and in every word, try always to live in such a way that one day you will hear these words, "Well Done, Abigail, Well Done." I will do my best to raise you up for this. Grow strong and healthy.

Mommy Loves You...

Adoring Abigail

My sweet little girl is two months old now...where does time go? I'm officially one of those mothers, you know the kind...the ones who cry with every new accomplishment their child makes, no matter how big or small. (Let's be honest, at this point they are all small) Abigail is becoming quite the character, just like her daddy. She talks quite often. According to John she can also crawl which truly is just a scooting motion that sometimes leaves her with rug burns...oops! Abigail loves to smile and tries very hard to laugh. She makes more facial expressions then any baby I've ever seen, but then again if you know John you are probably not surprised. We have enetered the realm of "only mommy will do" and while sometimes irritating, I must admit to loving the fact that I'm the one she wants. John and I often muse about when the absolute wonder of Abigail will wear off, but I don't think it ever will. Everyday I count my blessings, especially the blessing of Adoring Abigail...

A Familiar Face

Out of the blue one day, a good friend of mine mentioned that he had some pictures he thought I'd like to have. I inquired as to the content of the pictures and tears came to my eyes when he told me they were pictures of Nicholas. Many of you knew Nicholas personally and some may have only heard stories of his legendary adventures. Nicholas was my cousin and my best friend. A part of me died along with him and in the years since I've never been the same. When Aaron asked if I'd like to have the pictures, he handed me a far greater gift than he knew. You see as time passes the small things about Nicholas fade within my mind, and to see his face again retores all of that. Thank you, Aaron and Steph for giving me a glimpse of a familiar and dearly loved face...

Abbi's First Fair

The Gibson County Fair is a BIG annual event for the Davidson family. Each year as summer approaches we eagerly await fair week..the food...the entertainment...the animals. We love every aspect of the fair! This year the anticipation was overwhelming for John and I as this would be Abigail's first fair experience. Grandma (John's mom) had bought Abigail an outfit for every night of the fair...her first pair of jeans, red and white gingham, overalls...she was adorable to say the least (this from a proud Mommy). Abigail painted the picture of a perfect country girl! I jokingly talk about Abigail becoming a "mutton buster" and the fair is the precursor to that because Abbi met her first sheep! In September we hope to take her to the Palestine Rodeo to see what mutton busting is all about. John wanted Abigail to be a part of every fair event...tractor pulls, demo, the animal barn, tasting funnel cake (or at least the powdered sugar). He was mildly frustrated as Abbi seemed content to sleep or stare at the ceiling rather than look at the animals. Abigail loved every second! These are some of our favorite moments...Enjoy!

I See Me!

Long before Abigail arrived we speculated on what and who she would look like. For six weeks now it has remained just as much of a mystery. Many people see John's characteristics, and fewer have seen mine. It's minutely discouraging to think that this person that you carried for 9 1/2 months and then birthed didn't bother to inherit any of your features! When I was last home I found a picture of me at 6 weeks and was surprised to see a little of myself in Abigail after all! See what you think!

Satellite Insanity

For nearly 7 months now John and I have lived in our little woodland home. We've enjoyed the chirping birds, the wind blowing through the trees, and 3 fuzzy channels tuned in by a good 'ol rabbit ear antenna. The wonderful "digital switch" left us with 1 fuzzy channel and 4 daily hours of infomercials. I'm convinced that I could sell you any number of useless items, as I was tempted by their 1/2 selling pitches on a daily basis. My thoughtful parents enticed John and I with an early Christmas gift of Dish Network! Praise be! Our cute little house now proudly displays a satellite on the roof, and we are nearly overwelmed by a choice of 100 different television programs at any given time. It truly is a blessing and luxury for this stay-at-home mom! I'm certain if you could be a mouse on the wall you'd be mightily amused by our animated "look at that!" ,"what should we watch?" , and "how does this remote work?" The point that really sent us over the edge was the DVR mechanism. I can honestly say I was speechless when John stopped my live television show to rewind it a bit! I've been getting a kick out of how drastically this has impacted us, and I thought you might too!

Growing and Changing

Big Cheeks?

First Family Picture Since the Hospital (Oops!)

Just Being Adorable!

Abigail and Mommy, We Love to Cuddle

Daddy and Abigail on Father's Day

Grandad and Abigail on Father's Day

In the Special Dress She Wore for Daddy on Father's Day

First Nap in Her Crib

Understanding Abraham

I have read the account of Abraham's Testing (Exodus 22) countless times. My thoughts on the matter summed up to this: 1. The account foreshadowed God's sacrifice of His son Jesus. 2. We should be willing to lay all aside in willing obedience to the Lord. 3. God has a reason and plan even when we cannot see them clearly. Matter of fact I know, but that's about all I amounted that passage of scripture to. Until now.

A little over a month ago I gave birth to my first child, my sweet Abigail. She arrived safe and sound, but not after a scare or two. There were several times throughout labor that her heart rate plummeted, but always within less than a minute it rose back to normal levels on it's own. We were nearing the home stretch of dilation (about 8 cm) when suddenly I was surrounded by nurses and my doctor. No one said a word, but their faces were grim and their attitudes urgent. I looked to my husband, whose face could not have been more stoic, and felt my own heart begin to pound. The nurses proceeded to turn me first one way and then another before finally settling me into a declined position with my feet raised higher than my head (not comfortable at the 38th week of pregnancy I assure you). My epidural was turned up to the point that I no longer felt anything at all. For what seemed to be a horrendous amount of time everyone silently watched the monitor, while I did my best to remain calm. I glued my eyes on John who showed no expression at all. Finally after what must have only been 5-10 minutes, the nurses began to file out of the room and the mood eased. The wonderful nurse who had attended to me all day leaned over and explained that this time when Abigail's heart rate fell it would not rise again. She went on to say that they had been on the verge of doing an emergency c-section when (Thank Heavens) her heart rate picked back up to a normal level. At this point my composure dissolved as I let it sink in what danger my little girl had been in. John left the room, and when he returned I could tell just how scared he has been as well. The rest of the labor process went smoothly, and as fore mentioned our daughter is now one month old. At the time I did my best to push the memory of that terrifying experience aside, but now it has come rushing back with a vengeance and with it new understanding of Exodus 22.

God directly asked Abraham, with the intention of testing his faith, to sacrifice his only son...the son he desired more than all else, Isaac. The next morning Abraham rose and proceeded to do just as God had asked. Now you and I both know that God provided a sacrificial lamb and Isaac was spared, but Abraham had no idea that this would be the case. The Bible says nothing about Abraham's reaction to this request or the emotions he must surely have felt, but I have been trying to put myself in his shoes. Can you imagine the agony of knowing what morning would bring!? How emotionally, physically, and mentally taxing that night must have been. I cannot adequately understand I am certain, but I believe that now I can empathize. As I recall those terrible moments when the beat of Abigail's heart fell, I can now look back and let myself feel the full impact of that situation. I felt, feel even now, angry that there should even has been a second of danger to this little person that I already loved so much. I know now, as I knew then, that it would be far easier to die myself than to lose my daughter. I know that in those moments the pounding of my heart was a cry of "not her Lord, but if someone must go let it be me." If given the ultimatum I would have gladly walked into Jesus' loving arms if only my little girl could live. I like to believe that I would have enough faith to let go of Abigail if God required it, but I fear that I do not. Can you too imagine Abraham beseeching God to allow him to take Isaac's place? Can you fathom the turmoil of weighing your options? Obey and lose your child. Disobey and ...well who wants to provoke God?

I have another level to take this thought to...if you care to join me.

In Biblical times the offering of a sacrifice required preparation...going to a special place, the necessities for a fire, at times herbs or perfumes...God expected Abraham to go through the process of getting ready to sacrifice his son. He had to gather the wood, stack it, make kindling, perhaps pack special incense. It seems almost cruel to me to know that he had to go through these measures knowing that the blood shed on the altar would belong to his son. My sister-in-law recently lost her twin baby boys. She was 21 weeks into a rough pregnancy and had just begun to hope that they might be alright. One night she began bleeding profusely and having intense contractions. For 3 days she lingered in labor before finally delivering her precious boys. Aidan Dale arrived stillborn and Addison Lee's heart beat for over an hour before he too passed away. My sister-in-law and her husband had been required to make a necessary decision...restate or not. In a sense they too faced the same situation that Abraham faced. They endured 3 days of pain knowing that at the end of it all their boys stood very little chance of survival. On my part, my immediate reaction was to shake my fist in anger at God. Despite this all both have emerged from this experience with hope. Even in the bad, how good our God is.

How very well I am beginning to understand Abraham...

An Abigail Update

Little Miss Abigail Grace can:

• Smile at Mommy and Daddy
• "Coo" better than any baby I've ever heard (I'm biased)
• Poop Foam...I'm not even lying. It was sick.
• Practice "Mutton Busting" on Daddy's knee (a rodeo event in which kids ride big sheep for 8 seconds)
• Make 101 different faces within any given 60 second period

Little Miss Abigail Grace loves:

• Dancing with Daddy
• Nursing without ceasing or so it seems to Mommy
• Looking at her Farm Mobile
• Cuddling with anyone who holds her
• Sleeping with her arms up by her head

Little Miss Abigail Graces hates:

• Bottles (we are forcing her to confront this aversion)
• Being Tossed in the Air (perhaps not a gymnast like Mommy)
• Not being held (Any night owls who want to hold a baby for hours on end, let me know)

Our little girl is growing up far faster than I would like (other than in the sleep department). I cannot believe that Abigail has been apart of our lives for over a month now. She has grown and changed in so many ways. I find myself filled with bittersweet emotions all the time. I'm sad to see my little one outgrow her newborn clothes, yet I am excited to see her personality emerging. There is no greater joy or blessing than Abigail Grace...

A Tribute To Ms. Bananas in Pajamas

Yesterday morning found me at wits end. My sweet baby girl doesn't have such endearing sleep habits. For weeks now I've been running on a max of 4 hrs sleep per night. Tuesday night I never quite made it to bed, and as a result I was an emotional mess come morning. On impulse I texted my dear friend Court-N-Tilly, and found comforted I desperately needed. Courtney and I have not been able to keep in touch or to spend as much time together as we would like, but always always she is there for me. Many of you know that my freshman year of high school Courtney was my big sister on our dance team. We ironically looked very similar and happened to randomly wear the same outfits to practice (truly never planned). She and I carried around Banana in Pajama dolls and drove our team nuts singing the theme song to the show. We developed a strong friendship that has lasted beyond high school and in to adult life. Courtney and I coached dance together for several years, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. After marrying I moved to the middle of no where (literally) and haven't been able to come home as much as I'd like. Courtney and I often talked about being mommies together and now it's happened! I'm so thankful for her comforting words, sympathetic understanding, and reassurance that I am not crazy after all. She lended a listening ear when one was desperately needed. I also owe her an everlasting debt of gratitude because on the heels of her advice little Abigail slept 5hrs in a row last night!

Courtney- I'm so thankful for your friendship that endures trials and strengthens over time. God bless you! Let me know when I can return the favor!

Dear Abigail Grace,

I can hardly believe that you have been a part of our lives for nearly a month now. Life is altogether different and more meaningful because of your presence. Because your daddy is such a hard worker, Mommy is able to stay home with you. It is such a blessing to watch you change and grow day in and day out. We went to the Dr. for your first check up this week and you are growing marvelously! You have gained nearly 2lbs in 3 weeks! Needless to say the doctor and nurses were impressed! Daddy and I love you so much. In our wildest dreams we could not have adequately imagined the immense blessing that you would be. You are a noisy little girl! Daddy says you sound just like a piglet with all the grunting that you do. I think that you are just like Daddy. You sleep with your arms up...just like him. You make 101 different facial expressions...just like him. You sleep deeply and soundly (when you sleep)...just like him. You are a priceless and special little girl. Your sleeping patterns leave a little to be desired. You and Mommy spend quality time together at all hours of the night. Everyone is head over heels in love with you, and rightly so. I have yet to meet a little girl as fussed over as you! I pray that you will soak in all of this love and that throughout your life you will share it with others. Grow Strong and Healthy my boppli...

Mommy Loves You

Abigail

The Joys of John

My John is a man among men. Through every disgusting and embarassing aspect of labor, delivery, and recovery my husband stood by my side. Women, you know the emotional havoc that is wreaked when you are forced to throw any modicum of modesty out the window. John took this all in stride and never once made me feel ackward. (This is made even more so impressive considering my husband and I still do not pass gas in front of one another) Throughout it all I was so comforted and blessed by his presence. From the first moment of her life, Abbi's daddy has been wonderful. I have never seen a man so thrilled to be a father. We both are blessed beyond measure.

My Purpose

I have long dreamed of being a mother. For as long as I can remember I have felt that this was been the purpose for which I was created. I have held other people's children and closed my eyes trying to imagine what it would be like to hold my own. A little over a week ago my dreams became reality, and I can now say with certainty that this is my destiny. I will not be the best mother. I will make many mistakes. I will send up a million prayers in request for guidance, but I will love my daughter whole heartedly. I will support her, guide her, and train her in the ways that are right. I can only hope that God will grant me a potion of the wisdom that He bestowed upon Solomon. Abigail Grace is granting me the opportunity to pursue my purpose in life, and I'll do my best to make her proud.

The Proof

This is Courtney posting for your proud parents.

Abigail,

As I was on my second visit today to see you little Miss Abigail, Mommy kept calling you her "proof". The proof I saw today was the proof of God's Love! That love brought your Mommy and Daddy together, Abbi. The love that has been felt as you wiggled inside Mommy's belly for 9 mo. The love the family felt as your birth day grew closer.

Abigail Grace Davidson

born 5-20-09

6:09 pm

6 lbs 13oz 20 in

You are so tiny and petite like your Mama with buttery, tan skin like your Daddy. Aunt Courtney does not know who you look like but I fell in love with your soft eyes as soon as I saw them. I am so excited you are here now. My Leah will always have a playmate :)

God is Good!

I love you Abbi,

Aunt Courtney

3 a.m.

It's 3:00 a.m. (hence the title, clever I know) and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. For years this day has been imagined within the confines of my mind, and now in mere hours the yearnings of my heart and mind will become reality. How does one sleep in a time such as this? This lady cannot, although her snoring husband does not face such maladies. A few moments ago I lay there looking at him...wondering. I pray that our daughter is like her daddy. He's such a strong, good man. He's the best person I know.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience. Curse Eve for making what could have been an altogether pleasant experience painful. Today is the first day of mothering a sweet little girl, of training her up in the way she should go. John and I fervently believe that parenting, particularly a godly child in today's secular world, is a daily effort. I hope I'm adequate enough for the job. I desire so badly for Abigail to be the woman God created her to be...the kind of woman I want to be...that I wish I was. Admonish me if you will, but within the depths of my heart I believe that training begins from day 1. I'll enjoy each day, but I'll know that each day is in preparation for the day when she, my daughter, sits at a computer of her own contemplating the imminent arrival of her firstborn.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Today I meet my daughter. Such a simple sentence...such a profound experience...