What I Do or Who I Am?

For over a year now my faith has been in a state of stagnancy. Every effort that I have made to alter my lackadaisical attitude has proven to be fruitless.



It occurred to me the other day (long-term blonde moment) that I have been going through the dreaded wilderness period.



With this realization came the obvious awareness of my Lord saying, "Listen to me, Daughter!"



My reply, "Okay Lord, I'm listening...still listening...could you speak a little louder please?"



"Why do you love me?"



I have to admit this stumped me a bit...what answer did He want?

"I love you because you first loved me. You saw worth in me when all I saw was a lost cause."



"Daughter, why do you worship me?"



Ummm..."Because that's what I'm supposed to do if I love you..."



Silence...



So I had to wonder if my answer was wrong...and obviously He wasn't going to make it easy on me. I began taking a hard inward look at myself, and I soon had my answer.



I loved the Lord, I always have...okay that wasn't the issue. I do all the right things (or at least attempt to), so what was the problem?



"Daughter,Why Do You Worship Me?"



Now I know what the silence was all about. For years I have lived what I thought was a godly lifestyle, and it was...but there's more. The Lord was no longer content with me doing what I ought to do only because I ought to do it...



God wants me to live a life of worship because that's who I am, not what I do. A strong discontentment rose within me when I realized this. I don't want to act like a virtuous woman...I want to be one!



Goodbye lackadaisical attitude, and Hello desire! This is my mission. I will strive to take the love of my Father down into the marrow of my bones. I will ooze love because I cannot stop it. I will worship the Lord because that's Who I am, not What I Do. To start this journey, I have begun a daily devotional by Donna Paltrow called "Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A Study of Proverbs 31." It's transforming my heart.



If the Lord is tugging at your heart in the same manner I encourage you to succumb to His call...it is good for your soul.



No Eye Has Seen, No Ear Has Heard...