"A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long."
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long."
Meaning:
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the gist of this first verse. A good woman, a truly godly woman, is a rare find. A woman of this caliber is of such rarity that her value is more precious than diamonds. The result of this type of character and integrity in a woman is that her husband totally and completely trusts her. The scripture says that he does this "without reserve". There is not a point at which her husband feels the need to rein in his trust in her. He can give her complete access to finances, because he knows she will not blow it on a shopping spree. He can let down his guard and be vulnerable with her, because he knows she will not think him silly or weak for his worries. This husband can depend upon his wife because she never lets him down. This woman's vast integrity causes her husband to be continuously grateful that he chose her...he does not wonder if there might have been a better option out there somewhere. Don't nag! A spiteful (hateful, vindictive, nagging, complaining...you can see where I'm going) wife will drive away her husband. This is not to say that we cannot have a spat now and then with our men, but I believe this means we must pick and choose our battles. Finally it says we must be generous to the men in our life. Personally I think this means several things. 1. Give of yourself to your husband. It is easy (especially when we have children) to give to everyone around us and at the end of the day have very little for him. Keep your husband #2 in your life, children #3. 2. Be generous with understanding. Men do not think the way we do, be patient and understanding. He may not realize that you did your hair a different way (just for him), that PMS is a real and chronic condition, or that the dishes in the dishwasher should face the middle not outward. Let him off the hook now and then, he doesn't think about or understand these things. The final part of all that is that he deserves this type of treatment "all your life long". Getting to the 20th anniversary doesn't mean that we have suddenly reached the point of no return. He deserves your best every day, every year, every decade...just like you deserve his.
Application and Challenge:
Be worthy of your husband's trust, even in the little things. My Example of Trust: There have been times when I have conveniently "lost" receipts. Why? I bought all the groceries like I ought to...and 3 books. (I have a weakness for books) Big deal right? Wrong, it is a big deal...that added $30.00 to a budgeted grocery bill. Would John have really cared? No, not if we could afford it that week. The point is that that kind of behavior is dishonest, sneaky, and conniving, over a small issue. He deserved better than that. We now thoroughly discuss what our our money goes towards, we have a grocery budget...if I come under I can get a book. (It's kind of a fun challenge to see if I can save enough to get a book as well). If I have a need (or want) I ask John's permission before I buy. Be transparent in all things...I think a good rule is to tell before he asks. If your husband knows that you are consistently forthright with information, he will know that he can place his faith in you. My example of not being Spiteful: I am admittedly OCD. I have certain ways of doing things, everything belongs in its own particular location, and I tend to lose it if things don't go according to plan. My husband can well attest to these traits in me as he has often been the recipient of my wrath when things aren't just so. I am working on this. I am attempting to apply the insight of these verses to my life. Here's a silly sample; I have a decorative pumpkin hand towel in the bathroom. Decorative is the key word. My husband uses that towel and throws it in the sink. He doesn't fold it back up so that the pretty pumpkin is in the sight of any who enter the bathroom...You can tell from my wording that this grates on me. I used to nag John about it, and then I saw him roll his eyes...my first instinct was to spat off a smart comment, but I caught myself. He is entitled to do things his way, and if I don't like it I can fix that towel every time I see it messed up (which I do). I don't want my husband to resent me or to not feel refuge in his home because of me. I'm going to continue to try to change my ways rather than his...to extend him generous patience because I know he doesn't notice the things that set my hair on end.
Summary:
What ways can you apply these ideas to your life? Try them and see if your husband notices. I am going to go through this study of Proverbs 31 without telling John. I want to see if he can see the transformation the Lord is making in my heart and in my character. Each day this week read these verses and take them to heart... I'll do the same. Next week I will continue on with the next set of verses. I hope this is a blessing to your heart as it is to mine.
In Christ's abiding love...
Bri
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the gist of this first verse. A good woman, a truly godly woman, is a rare find. A woman of this caliber is of such rarity that her value is more precious than diamonds. The result of this type of character and integrity in a woman is that her husband totally and completely trusts her. The scripture says that he does this "without reserve". There is not a point at which her husband feels the need to rein in his trust in her. He can give her complete access to finances, because he knows she will not blow it on a shopping spree. He can let down his guard and be vulnerable with her, because he knows she will not think him silly or weak for his worries. This husband can depend upon his wife because she never lets him down. This woman's vast integrity causes her husband to be continuously grateful that he chose her...he does not wonder if there might have been a better option out there somewhere. Don't nag! A spiteful (hateful, vindictive, nagging, complaining...you can see where I'm going) wife will drive away her husband. This is not to say that we cannot have a spat now and then with our men, but I believe this means we must pick and choose our battles. Finally it says we must be generous to the men in our life. Personally I think this means several things. 1. Give of yourself to your husband. It is easy (especially when we have children) to give to everyone around us and at the end of the day have very little for him. Keep your husband #2 in your life, children #3. 2. Be generous with understanding. Men do not think the way we do, be patient and understanding. He may not realize that you did your hair a different way (just for him), that PMS is a real and chronic condition, or that the dishes in the dishwasher should face the middle not outward. Let him off the hook now and then, he doesn't think about or understand these things. The final part of all that is that he deserves this type of treatment "all your life long". Getting to the 20th anniversary doesn't mean that we have suddenly reached the point of no return. He deserves your best every day, every year, every decade...just like you deserve his.
Application and Challenge:
Be worthy of your husband's trust, even in the little things. My Example of Trust: There have been times when I have conveniently "lost" receipts. Why? I bought all the groceries like I ought to...and 3 books. (I have a weakness for books) Big deal right? Wrong, it is a big deal...that added $30.00 to a budgeted grocery bill. Would John have really cared? No, not if we could afford it that week. The point is that that kind of behavior is dishonest, sneaky, and conniving, over a small issue. He deserved better than that. We now thoroughly discuss what our our money goes towards, we have a grocery budget...if I come under I can get a book. (It's kind of a fun challenge to see if I can save enough to get a book as well). If I have a need (or want) I ask John's permission before I buy. Be transparent in all things...I think a good rule is to tell before he asks. If your husband knows that you are consistently forthright with information, he will know that he can place his faith in you. My example of not being Spiteful: I am admittedly OCD. I have certain ways of doing things, everything belongs in its own particular location, and I tend to lose it if things don't go according to plan. My husband can well attest to these traits in me as he has often been the recipient of my wrath when things aren't just so. I am working on this. I am attempting to apply the insight of these verses to my life. Here's a silly sample; I have a decorative pumpkin hand towel in the bathroom. Decorative is the key word. My husband uses that towel and throws it in the sink. He doesn't fold it back up so that the pretty pumpkin is in the sight of any who enter the bathroom...You can tell from my wording that this grates on me. I used to nag John about it, and then I saw him roll his eyes...my first instinct was to spat off a smart comment, but I caught myself. He is entitled to do things his way, and if I don't like it I can fix that towel every time I see it messed up (which I do). I don't want my husband to resent me or to not feel refuge in his home because of me. I'm going to continue to try to change my ways rather than his...to extend him generous patience because I know he doesn't notice the things that set my hair on end.
Summary:
What ways can you apply these ideas to your life? Try them and see if your husband notices. I am going to go through this study of Proverbs 31 without telling John. I want to see if he can see the transformation the Lord is making in my heart and in my character. Each day this week read these verses and take them to heart... I'll do the same. Next week I will continue on with the next set of verses. I hope this is a blessing to your heart as it is to mine.
In Christ's abiding love...
Bri
thanks for the challenge (and honesty) Bri! I'm in :)
ReplyDeleteI linked here from Chelsa's blog. What a fun and LOVING challenge. :)
ReplyDelete