Sunday, November 21, 2010

Trophy-Wife-In-Training: Rise and Shine!

"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day."
Could this verse have been written any more plainly? There truly is nothing to decipher, yet I know that if you are anything like me, you cringed a bit when you read it. I'd like to know the woman who is dedicated enough to be up before dawn each morning with a hot breakfast awaiting her family. This 'Wonder Woman' also has each day's events mapped out and planned. The truth of the matter is that as much as we want to skim past this verse, God desires us to be more like this woman.
I'm an early riser by nature, but by no means am I up before dawn (unless my 9 week old decides otherwise). I am one of those odd creatures that truly enjoys the morning, yet I confess that I'd be hard pressed to find the motivation to rise before dawn. I believe that while it may not be truly necessary to be up before the sun that it might be prudent to make an effort to start our day a little earlier than what most of us would prefer. I think the focus and intent of this verse is that a godly woman makes a conscious effort to start her day and that of her family on a good foot. By getting up early, or earlier than our loved ones we have the opportunity to set the tempo and mood of the day. This week I challenge you to start your day 15min. before your husband or children. Use that time to pray, read the verse above, have a cup of coffee, make breaksfast for your family, write a love note to your husband, etc. I would venture to guess that we would all find a change in the hearts and attitudes of ourselves and our families. Also try to have a clear plan for your day, for your week. I'm going to try to make my week look a little like this:
Monday: Errands
Tuesday: Clean House
Wednesday: Play day with my girls/ homemade supper for John
Thursday: Laundry
Friday: Play day with my girls/ homemade supper for John
Saturday: Grocery day
Sunday: Sabbath
I think that we would find ourselves feeling greatly accomplished if we could check off our goal at the end of each day, and through that our family feeds off of our positive attitude. I challenge you to try these two things this week: 1. Get up 15min. early 2. Have a plan for the day.
Let me know what results you find!
In Christ's love and mine,

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Trohpy-Wife-In-Training: Get Crafty!

"She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises."

There's not a whole lot to decipher in this section. First and foremost the first 3 words stand out to me; "She shops around..." (I confess I may be reading more into this than necessary, but I think I'm on to something). I think that this is an admonition to not simply stop at the most handy place, but to make the effort to search for quality items at the best cost. In other words get the most for your money. I'll venture so far as to also say try to endorse the businesses of the good and those as often as you can. Many Christian mothers are bringing income to their families through at-home business, buy from them if you can. Some doctors are taking a stand as treating their patients based upon Christian values, entrust them with your care. These types of things may require extra effort on your part, but do make a difference. Moving on...this biblical trophy wife is a creative and crafty lady. She takes precious little and makes useful, and I'm sure, beautiful items. Not only does she make things for her family...she enjoys doing so. Two things jump out at me here: 1. Making things for your family is far more fulfilling than buying them. There is fulfillment and pride in making something from nothing. We modern day women, who boast of such accomplishment and equality, would greatly disappoint our feminine ancestors if they could see how many of the traditional skills we lack. Why cook from scratch when you can microwave? Why sew, when you can buy? Why grow a garden and put up vegetables when they come in a can? I believe that we have lost the honor and pride that comes with being a resourceful woman. It's far easier to swipe a card than to put a little elbow grease into creating something of our own. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with doing things the 'modern way', but I am saying that I believe that if we return to the old ways of doing things that we will find ourselves more fulfilled. 2. The tasks we perform as wives and mothers should be labors of love, not labors of grumbling. What comes from our mouths is the overflow of our hearts. If we do our duties with positive loving attitudes that will be visible to our husbands and children. My husband will not enjoy his home cooked meal nearly as much if I spend the entire dinner complaining over the amount of effort it took to create it. Find enjoyment in your wifely are serving not only your family but your Father in all you do...even the little things.
The final part of this scripture talks about how the woman sails faraway and brings back exotic surprises. Think outside the box, do the unusual...your family will appreciate the effort. Try a new meal, make a special scrapbook for your children...Show your family that you go out of your way just for them.

I am not a crafty person by nature, but I am good at stealing the creative ideas of others. For Christmas last year I got a sewing machine and have been putting it to good use since. I've made blankets for my girls, curtains for my windows, and etc. I have found great joy and fulfillment in knowing that I have the ability to create these things. My husband is proud of me too, he shows of the things that I make as though it is an extraordinary accomplishment. I try to make at least 2 home cooked, from scratch meals a week, and to his credit, John always notices and appreciates them. we have also begun trying to give our business to the 'good and the godly' as often as possible, and this has proved a blessing to both parties. Something "exotic" that I am working on are life journals for each of my girls. This is my life story written down to give to them on their 16th birthdays, and it will take that long to complete them. It's my hope that they will see through this gift how very precious they are.

My goal is to continue doing more and more in these areas, and to try to use these skills as a ministry. Cook meals for a new mom, make a special Christmas dress or gift for someone who might not be able to buy one. I encourage you to try some of these things, I promise you will be blessed by the accomplishment of a task that has an easier alternative. Please share how and if this blesses you as it has me.

In Christ's love and mine,

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Trophy-Wife-In-Training: Let the Games Begin!

"A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long."

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the gist of this first verse. A good woman, a truly godly woman, is a rare find. A woman of this caliber is of such rarity that her value is more precious than diamonds. The result of this type of character and integrity in a woman is that her husband totally and completely trusts her. The scripture says that he does this "without reserve". There is not a point at which her husband feels the need to rein in his trust in her. He can give her complete access to finances, because he knows she will not blow it on a shopping spree. He can let down his guard and be vulnerable with her, because he knows she will not think him silly or weak for his worries. This husband can depend upon his wife because she never lets him down. This woman's vast integrity causes her husband to be continuously grateful that he chose her...he does not wonder if there might have been a better option out there somewhere. Don't nag! A spiteful (hateful, vindictive, nagging, can see where I'm going) wife will drive away her husband. This is not to say that we cannot have a spat now and then with our men, but I believe this means we must pick and choose our battles. Finally it says we must be generous to the men in our life. Personally I think this means several things. 1. Give of yourself to your husband. It is easy (especially when we have children) to give to everyone around us and at the end of the day have very little for him. Keep your husband #2 in your life, children #3. 2. Be generous with understanding. Men do not think the way we do, be patient and understanding. He may not realize that you did your hair a different way (just for him), that PMS is a real and chronic condition, or that the dishes in the dishwasher should face the middle not outward. Let him off the hook now and then, he doesn't think about or understand these things. The final part of all that is that he deserves this type of treatment "all your life long". Getting to the 20th anniversary doesn't mean that we have suddenly reached the point of no return. He deserves your best every day, every year, every decade...just like you deserve his.

Application and Challenge:
Be worthy of your husband's trust, even in the little things. My Example of Trust: There have been times when I have conveniently "lost" receipts. Why? I bought all the groceries like I ought to...and 3 books. (I have a weakness for books) Big deal right? Wrong, it is a big deal...that added $30.00 to a budgeted grocery bill. Would John have really cared? No, not if we could afford it that week. The point is that that kind of behavior is dishonest, sneaky, and conniving, over a small issue. He deserved better than that. We now thoroughly discuss what our our money goes towards, we have a grocery budget...if I come under I can get a book. (It's kind of a fun challenge to see if I can save enough to get a book as well). If I have a need (or want) I ask John's permission before I buy. Be transparent in all things...I think a good rule is to tell before he asks. If your husband knows that you are consistently forthright with information, he will know that he can place his faith in you. My example of not being Spiteful: I am admittedly OCD. I have certain ways of doing things, everything belongs in its own particular location, and I tend to lose it if things don't go according to plan. My husband can well attest to these traits in me as he has often been the recipient of my wrath when things aren't just so. I am working on this. I am attempting to apply the insight of these verses to my life. Here's a silly sample; I have a decorative pumpkin hand towel in the bathroom. Decorative is the key word. My husband uses that towel and throws it in the sink. He doesn't fold it back up so that the pretty pumpkin is in the sight of any who enter the bathroom...You can tell from my wording that this grates on me. I used to nag John about it, and then I saw him roll his first instinct was to spat off a smart comment, but I caught myself. He is entitled to do things his way, and if I don't like it I can fix that towel every time I see it messed up (which I do). I don't want my husband to resent me or to not feel refuge in his home because of me. I'm going to continue to try to change my ways rather than extend him generous patience because I know he doesn't notice the things that set my hair on end.

What ways can you apply these ideas to your life? Try them and see if your husband notices. I am going to go through this study of Proverbs 31 without telling John. I want to see if he can see the transformation the Lord is making in my heart and in my character. Each day this week read these verses and take them to heart... I'll do the same. Next week I will continue on with the next set of verses. I hope this is a blessing to your heart as it is to mine.

In Christ's abiding love...

Trophy Wife in Training

Calling All Women!

I dare say that there is not-a-one of us out there that doesn't secretly desire to be a Trophy Wife. What I wouldn't give to have my husband strut like a peacock when I'm on his arm! Each time my husband and I go out there's always that one lucky lady who captures the admiring gaze (of every man) and animosity filled glare (of every woman) in the room. I don't know about you, but I want to be her! So how about it ladies? Want to strive for that goal? Care to commit to becoming a trophy wife in training? I know you are grimacing to yourself and thinking that this is an impossible task, but I assure you that it is not! I have found the key that unlocks this mystery. I'm asking you to join with me, body, mind, and soul in the effort at reaching this monumental goal.

"How do we do it?" you ask. Let me tell you! The answer to this most desired quest lies in the place that all answers are found, our Father's word.

Proverbs 31:10-31. I love the message bible's wording. At every opportunity I have I am going to take a verse of this scripture, break it apart, seek out it's meaning, and apply it to my life. The outcome of this endeavor is clear...I can be the trophy wife my husband desires and deserves if only I be the kind of wife my Father asks me to be. I hope you will join in this journey with me.

If you'd like to print out this version of the scripture go to to do so. Every step of the way I will share what I discover about this task, and it is my great wish that we women of faith would band together in dedication to becoming the tremendous women that God created us to be.