Excerpt from Mommy's Life Journal

Writing Promt:
How did you know that Dad was the one you would spend your life with?

By the time I met your dad (John), I had been through more than my fair share of boyfriends. There was even one guy that I had thought I'd spend my life with. It took quite awhile for me to realize that I needed to stop searching for "the one". The guy that I had given my heart to before your daddy didn't treasure it for the gift that it was, and as a result he broke it. While I was healing from this hurt, God truly made himself known to me and I realized that He was "the one" I was looking for. For the first time I surrendered my desire to be loved, and before I knew it I was drowning in the intimacy of God's grace.

I set in my heart and mind a list of standards that I believed God wanted me have for the man I would give my newly healed heart to. Here were some of the things that I had to see in a young man.
1. Love God first and foremost
2. His life must show the fruit of this love
3. Family must be a priority.
4. A hard worker
5. Intellectual
6. Character above reproach
7. Must endure to preserve romance
The list goes on but to put it simply I was going to be picky.

I met your dad not long after this took place in my heart. Our first date resembled a trial more than a romantic experience. I was delighted to know that John had endured a similar experience and had settled his heart on the same matters. Your dad and I questioned each other back and forth to determine if we each met each others standards. He did and I did, and by the time that date was over a deep peace settled over my heart. Over the next weeks God revealed in countless ways that John Davidson was my prince.

I'll share one sweet specific example. Before I even knew your dad, I had prayed that God would help me know His choice on mate. I asked him to have the young man surprise me by dancing with me under the stars. Your dad and I had not been seeing each other long when one evening on the way home he pulled over in a parking lot. (Yes readers,I was a bit leery too). He told me to climb in the back on his truck and close my eyes. (Yep, creepy). Skeptically I did as told. Suddenly I heard music and then opened my eyes to see John holding out his arms. He asked if I would like to dance and I said yes. As I laid in bed that night, praying and asking God for guidance, my previous request came to mind. Not once had I mentioned this to anyone. I'm not saying that God fulfills our petty needs for signs, but this moment truly seemed to be appointed by my Father.

It wasn't long after that night that your dad told me he wanted to marry me, and I was able to assure him with all of my heart that I wanted the same...

Politically Correct Christmas

Regardless of who you are...

Regardless of what you believe...

Regardless of what generation you hale from...

Regardless of where you're from...

Regardless of your political leanings...

Christmas is about Jesus!

To any and all who say otherwise, I hope that truth seeps into your soul with every gift you open this Christmas.

Just had to get that off my chest!

Excerpt from Mommy's Life Journal

I thought that occasionally I might let some of you in on a few of my secrets that I'm sharing in Abigail's journal. So sit back and enjoy a foray into the mind of Brianne!

Writing Prompt:
What was the worst date you've ever been on?

The summer before I met your dad (John), was the first single time I had experienced in over 4 years. I had several dating experiences, but one sticks out as the worst. A good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless for his sake) and I had been hanging out frequently and were really enjoying one another's company. At Jessie and Dusty Davis' cookout he finally asked me if I would like to go on a date. I agreed thinking that although we were total opposites that it might be just what I was looking for. The night of our date things started off well until I opened the door when he picked me up to find him standing there dressed in turn of the century golfing attire. We went to Bobe's ( a local pizza place) and had dinner. Our prearranged plans included getting together with other friends to play music and hang out, but when this feel through my date's mood went sour. Needless to say this made things awkward. By the end of dinner I feared that he was nearing the point of being mildly depressed. I asked what he'd like to do next and he replied that he was taking me home. I was dropped off on my doorstep with the sun still up on a Friday night. Obviously I was a little bummed that things turned out so poorly and to compound this I didn't hear from the guy until a month later. He told me he'd had a great time and would like to go out again, but he was too late. By this time I'd met your dad and lost my heart to him.

Time...

If I could ask Santa for just one thing this Christmas it would be something that we all take for granted...Time.

Time to spend with girl friends...

Time to woo my husband backinto the romance we used to have...

Time to think adult thoughts...

Time to have a deep conversation with my husband...

Time to do something that I want to do not have to do...

Time to laugh and tease with my husband...

Time to read something other than children's books...

Time without my husband or my daughter, time just for me...

Time to blog...

Time to stop and catch my breath...

I want time, time to appreciate all that I have right here and right now...

See how much can be done with just a little time?!
When you're a mommy time is a hot commodity!

Mommy's Life

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have journaled and written letters to my precious boppli. Now my sweet daughter is here, and I have embarked upon a deeper version of this special time of sharing my heart with Abigail. I recently bought a journal that's titled "Mommy's Story." It's a prompted journal that will take me the course of her life to complete. It has topics like "What is the worst date you've ever been on?", "What is your favorite childhood memory?", What's the worst thing you've ever done/the best thing?" On Abigail's Sweet 16 Birthday I will give her this journal, filled with my thoughts, memories, experiences, and the inner parts of my heart. I hope that it will be a guide that might help her understand her Mommy a little more, that she might seek the advice within it's pages. For each child that makes it's way into the Davidson family just such a gift will be a labor of love from either Mommy or Daddy...From time to time I may share a couple of my replies to these questions with you :-)

Abigail Grace's Fall Pictures

Stephanie Willis took these gorgeous pictures of Abigail just a week or so ago. This is my priceless gift at 4 1/2 months! Thank you for the wonderful memories, Steph!

A Sneak Peek!

Here's a sneak peek of Abigail's fall pictures! Mrs. Stephanie Willis took them and did a fantastic job as usual! If you have a little one and need some pictures done, she's the lady to talk to!

Her Heart Belongs to Daddy...

Her Heart Belongs to Daddy...

It's an amazing thing to witness the formation of the bond between father and daughter. I still stand in awe of my daddy, and my heart tugs a bit every time I leave him to come back home. I have been watching Abigail develop the same feelings for John and in makes my heart do flip flops to see them together. It was love at first sight for sure, but now so much more ties them together. John and I have a habit of dancing together at random moments, and he has carried that over to also dance with Abigail. Every time I see them together tears come to my eyes. (Listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" and you'll cry too!)

Abigail has even become a Colts fan, just like Daddy! She screams in delight whenever football comes on. I hope that she and John will always remain close, and that he will forever be her hero just like my daddy is to me!

Abigail, Abbi, or Gail

When John and I chose the name "Abigail" for our daughter, we figured that at some point she would become Abbi for short. As I have gotten to know my little girl I have realized that she is Abigail. I love the meaning of her name, I love the way the entire name sounds, I love that while there are many Abby's there are very few "Abigail's". Many people have asked us how to refer to her, and my answer is you may call her Abbi if you want, but to me she is Abigail. Oddly enough if I happen to shorten her name here lately it has come out "Gail." I guess the reason that this matters to me is that I have one of "those" names. Most of my life I have been Bri rather than Brianne, and now there are people who don't even realize that Bri is a nickname. I'm named after my daddy (Brian) and am proud to be his namesake so sometimes I wish that I was "Brianne" but it seems as though Bri is stuck....to make a long story short this got me to thinking about what Abigail would want to be called one day. I have had some many ask me this question I thought I'd just put up a short post about it :-) I'm going add a picture of my sweetie and you can decide for yourself!

Cows love Jesus too!

Meeting Annabelle for the first time!

In the cows "living room" for church

Every once in a while my little family takes a Sabbath Sunday to have church at home. John works 10 hr days 6 days a week and the result is very little family time. A few Sundays ago was one of our "Special Sundays." We slept in, made pancakes and bacon for breakfast, and took a walk. John packed his Bible in the stroller and off we went! About midway through our walk we realized that Abigail had not yet met the cows and horses so our destination became the pasture! We invited ourselves into our cows "living room" (a hollowed out place in the trees where they lie down at the same time everyday). It was a gorgeous morning with a hint of Fall in the air. John decided that this was as good of spot as any for church that morning because cows love Jesus too you know! John led our little family in a church service of sorts, and I have to say that the cows gave their utmost attention to the "sermon." Every once in awhile John surprises me and reads me Proverbs 31, and that morning was one of those times. We also prayed Psalms 139 over Abigail, just as we have since we first knew that she was growing inside me. It was a special moment that touched my heart deeply. We love introducing our little girl to our life on the farm, and so far she seems to love it as much as we do!

The Men in Her Life...

Abigail has stolen the hearts of many, but there are 2 men in particular who are putty in her hands...

Grandad...

I knew that my daddy would be a terrific Grandad, but I had no idea just how wonderful he would be. Abigail lights up when she sees my dad. They sing ABC's and count to 10. He talks to her and truly she hangs on his every word. It's such a blessing to see how wonderful my dad is with my daughter, and I have an even greater appreciation for the man that he has been in my life.

Daddy...

Of course all daddies melt at the sight of their little girls, but my husband might do so more than most. John is captivated by his daughter, and as a wife it endears him to my heart every time I see the two of them together. The final photo is of Daddy and Abigail "dancing". They tango across the dining room, and they slow dance in the kitchen. Long ago John began a habit of surprising me with dancing moments, and he has carried on the tradition with Abigail. We so want her to understand that she is worthy and deserving of a good and godly man, and John has set his mind to showing her how a lady deserves to be treated. He is a wonderful daddy!

Daddy:

Abigail...At a Glance

3 months old...

A Face Only a Mother Could Love...

Simply Sweet in Her Amish Dress

Sitting in the Bumbo...

Bumbos, Belly Fat, Brunette Hair, and Baby #2

Bumbo

If you have infants and do not own one of these it is a worthwhile purchase!

Abigail is 3 months old and "sitting up" on her own

She loves the freedom and independence of being able to sit and look around without Mommy.

Each time I set her in her bumbo, she looks around and grins when she realizes that she's on her own, so to speak.

I can admit with honesty and trepidation that my sweet baby girl has an attitude and an independent streak.

At some point I am certain this will get her into trouble, but for now we humor her nature knowing that we will "mold" it later.

Abigail is quite adept at throwing temper tantrums and her ear-splitting screams do grow wearisome, particularly when she is just doing it to be ornery.

John and I are (sadly enough) becoming antsy for the day when Little Miss Abigail can be disciplined for her Diva-Like behaviors as both he and I swear up and down that we will not have a daughter who behaves "like that."

Despite all this it is quite cute to see that little smile of accomplishment creep across her face each time she sits in her bumbo...

Belly Fat

I am sick to death of my flabby belly.

I have dieted and exercised until I am blue in the face and still the chub remains.

My sisters-in-law and I are beginning an intense workout schedule so hopefully I will see some progress.

I think my greatest fear is never truly feeling "good" about myself again.

I don't want to constantly be sucking or tucking in a chubby tummy!

Any mommies who have suggestions please pass them on!

Brunette Hair

For years now I have endured the maintenance of forcing my hair to be blonde.

Constant coloring and highlights are wearisome and expensive!

I recently began getting lowlights rather than highlights and after many compliments I decided to take the plunge!

I'm now a brunette and I love it!

Who said blondes have more fun anyway?!

Baby # 2

I wonder how many of you instantly saw the title of this blog and scrolled down to this section?!

First I will still your beating hearts and say "No" we are not expecting again!

It amazes me how having Abigail has brought out the wonderful Daddy in John.

I knew he would be a good father, but I could not have imagined how great he would be.

As soon as Abigail was born John declared that we were going to have "lots" of babies!

You can imagine how I felt having just been through the labor and delivery process!

Now that we are 3 months away from that moment, I am beginning to warm to the idea myself.

As my daughter grows and changes I wonder how similar or different the next little one will be.

It is amazing to see glimpses of John and I emerge in her, and I marvel at God's handiwork.

I am anxious to see how He will take the same combination and create an entirely unique human being.

When the time comes I will eagerly await baby #2 just as I did Abigail, but until then I am enjoying being a mommy of 1!

A Mommy Mess Up

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail had her first bottle of the day

We went and got groceries

Abigail has had thrush so Mommy put new clean nipples on bottles

Around 10:00 a.m. crying begins and Abigail won't eat

Continues throughout the day with crying becoming more intense

Mommy wants to pull her hair out

Around 8:00 p.m. crying continues but begins to wind down

Abigail finally relents and falls asleep

Peace and quiet restores Mommy to sanity

Around 6:00 a.m. Abigail won't take her formula and crying begins again

We leave for church in Washington with a screaming baby in the backseat

Amazingly enough the quiet ceases during church

Around 10:00 a.m. Abigail takes her bottle but Mommy notices that level of formula doesn't decrease

Mommy takes bottle out of Abigail's mouth and shakes it

No hole in tip of nipple

Problem Solved

Mirror, Mirror

My daughter is fascinated with mirrors. At 10 weeks old there is nothing more exciting than studying her own reflection. She inspires me. Her innocence wrenches my heart. The other day as I watched her practice crying in her toy mirror, (fake crying I assure you) tears rolled down my face as I wondered how long she would enjoy this simple act. I realized that within a few short years she will likely look into a mirror with not contentment but disgust.

We live in a society that trains us as women to pick apart every nuance of ourselves that does not fit into the mold of the current standard of beauty. For as long as I can remember the mirror has been a foe of mine. My earliest memories are tainted by the devastation that anorexia and bulimia can wreak upon a family, my family. To this day I spend a ridiculous amount of time fretting over what to eat, truly whether or not to even eat. I worry over what size I am and what I will wear. I obsess over if I'm thin or fat, ugly or pretty, trendy or plain. I worry about whether or not my husband will love me or be attracted to me if I gain 5 pounds of have a pimple! It's a travesty to have my life saturated with the obsession of beauty.

I want more for Abigail. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she is a princess of the King of Kings. I want her to know that beauty, the true kind, comes from within. I want her to be filled with peace when she looks into the mirror. I want Abigail to treasure herself enough to dress modestly. I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful...truly gorgeous, and I want her to have an accurate standard against which to measure this. I want to be an example to her, to change my way of thinking. I want to make a conscious effort to train Abigail up with this mindset. Hold me accountable.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised

1 Peter 3:3-4 It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful.4 No, your beauty should come from within you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is very precious to God.

Cry of My Heart

In the last 6 years there has been an unusual amount of young lives lost: Nicholas Rainey, Holly Wirth, Walter Ayala, Seth Coy, and others. Each time a tragedy such as these occurs I am asked "Why?" and I know that truly this question is intended for God's ears and not my own. With all of my heart I believe that part of the reason God has allowed young lives to end is to remind us of the fragility of life. The Bible says that to each person there is an alloted number of days, no more and no less can be given. To you who are young: don't wait to change your life, don't wait to make God your priority. Begin a life of living for His glory now. To you who are old (adults): You know not the number of days that remain...make them count. If you know the Lord, be certain that your children do as well. We are not entitled to turn and shake our fists at God when we have wasted the precious gift of life He has given. My heart is breaking and crying out as I write this, (not for Seth (who passed away last night, I know that this young man loved the Lord and is in Jesus' arms right now) but for the countless numbers of young and old alike who endure loss after loss and still reject the love of Christ.

To Those of You Who Fall Under that Category, I write this:

Money will not satisfy you
Material Wealth will not make you happy
Success will not fulfill you
Alcohol and Drugs will not solve your problems
Sex and Relationships will not mend your heart

Turn to God. Share with Him your anger, hurt, depression, discontentment, anxieties, or whatever is holding you back. Allow yourself to soak in His forgiveness and move on in new life. Don't use God. God is not the 911 system to be used only in times of emergencies. He is a loving father who wants to Know YOU! He wants to rejoice with you in good times, and He wants to comfort you when tragedies occur. Your life is not judged on the good time you had last night, or the fact that you carry a Coach purse. Your life is judged by what you do with the number of days God has given you. Live for Him, not yourself. It is never too late or too early to change.

If I have offended any, I ask you first to look within your heart and examine why you take offense, and secondly if you find no reason then I ask your forgiveness.

Dear Abigail Grace,

My sweet little girl,
For two months now you have made my life a waking dream, although there were moments (very short ones) that seemed to be a nightmare. Mommy has struggled to get you into some semblance of a sleeping pattern, and finally we have succeeded! You are a night owl, just like your daddy. We consider it a small victory to get you to sleep before 11:00. Each day more facets of your personality emerge, and I stare at you with awe as the individuality of YOU appears. Too many times to count, Mommy and Daddy find ourselves with tears in our eyes as we thank God for the blessing of you. You bring such joy to us, Abigail. Everyday, every hour, every moment is appreciated and stored away in my mind.

I hope that always you will know how treasured you are, not only by Mommy and Daddy, but by your Heavenly Father as well. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Seek it. Fulfill it. The greatest accomplishment, the greatest joy, the most satisfying fulfillment will come not during your life, but at the end. Remember this, daughter. We do not live to store up treasures on earth. We do not live to please ourselves. We do not live to stand above others. We live and breathe to bring glory to the Lord who gave us life. We live to share love with others. No child has ever been as loved as you are, and I pray that this love will flow through you and from you into the lives of others. In every choice, in every action, and in every word, try always to live in such a way that one day you will hear these words, "Well Done, Abigail, Well Done." I will do my best to raise you up for this. Grow strong and healthy.

Mommy Loves You...

Adoring Abigail

My sweet little girl is two months old now...where does time go? I'm officially one of those mothers, you know the kind...the ones who cry with every new accomplishment their child makes, no matter how big or small. (Let's be honest, at this point they are all small) Abigail is becoming quite the character, just like her daddy. She talks quite often. According to John she can also crawl which truly is just a scooting motion that sometimes leaves her with rug burns...oops! Abigail loves to smile and tries very hard to laugh. She makes more facial expressions then any baby I've ever seen, but then again if you know John you are probably not surprised. We have enetered the realm of "only mommy will do" and while sometimes irritating, I must admit to loving the fact that I'm the one she wants. John and I often muse about when the absolute wonder of Abigail will wear off, but I don't think it ever will. Everyday I count my blessings, especially the blessing of Adoring Abigail...

A Familiar Face

Out of the blue one day, a good friend of mine mentioned that he had some pictures he thought I'd like to have. I inquired as to the content of the pictures and tears came to my eyes when he told me they were pictures of Nicholas. Many of you knew Nicholas personally and some may have only heard stories of his legendary adventures. Nicholas was my cousin and my best friend. A part of me died along with him and in the years since I've never been the same. When Aaron asked if I'd like to have the pictures, he handed me a far greater gift than he knew. You see as time passes the small things about Nicholas fade within my mind, and to see his face again retores all of that. Thank you, Aaron and Steph for giving me a glimpse of a familiar and dearly loved face...

Abbi's First Fair

The Gibson County Fair is a BIG annual event for the Davidson family. Each year as summer approaches we eagerly await fair week..the food...the entertainment...the animals. We love every aspect of the fair! This year the anticipation was overwhelming for John and I as this would be Abigail's first fair experience. Grandma (John's mom) had bought Abigail an outfit for every night of the fair...her first pair of jeans, red and white gingham, overalls...she was adorable to say the least (this from a proud Mommy). Abigail painted the picture of a perfect country girl! I jokingly talk about Abigail becoming a "mutton buster" and the fair is the precursor to that because Abbi met her first sheep! In September we hope to take her to the Palestine Rodeo to see what mutton busting is all about. John wanted Abigail to be a part of every fair event...tractor pulls, demo, the animal barn, tasting funnel cake (or at least the powdered sugar). He was mildly frustrated as Abbi seemed content to sleep or stare at the ceiling rather than look at the animals. Abigail loved every second! These are some of our favorite moments...Enjoy!

I See Me!

Long before Abigail arrived we speculated on what and who she would look like. For six weeks now it has remained just as much of a mystery. Many people see John's characteristics, and fewer have seen mine. It's minutely discouraging to think that this person that you carried for 9 1/2 months and then birthed didn't bother to inherit any of your features! When I was last home I found a picture of me at 6 weeks and was surprised to see a little of myself in Abigail after all! See what you think!

Satellite Insanity

For nearly 7 months now John and I have lived in our little woodland home. We've enjoyed the chirping birds, the wind blowing through the trees, and 3 fuzzy channels tuned in by a good 'ol rabbit ear antenna. The wonderful "digital switch" left us with 1 fuzzy channel and 4 daily hours of infomercials. I'm convinced that I could sell you any number of useless items, as I was tempted by their 1/2 selling pitches on a daily basis. My thoughtful parents enticed John and I with an early Christmas gift of Dish Network! Praise be! Our cute little house now proudly displays a satellite on the roof, and we are nearly overwelmed by a choice of 100 different television programs at any given time. It truly is a blessing and luxury for this stay-at-home mom! I'm certain if you could be a mouse on the wall you'd be mightily amused by our animated "look at that!" ,"what should we watch?" , and "how does this remote work?" The point that really sent us over the edge was the DVR mechanism. I can honestly say I was speechless when John stopped my live television show to rewind it a bit! I've been getting a kick out of how drastically this has impacted us, and I thought you might too!

Growing and Changing

Big Cheeks?

First Family Picture Since the Hospital (Oops!)

Just Being Adorable!

Abigail and Mommy, We Love to Cuddle

Daddy and Abigail on Father's Day

Grandad and Abigail on Father's Day

In the Special Dress She Wore for Daddy on Father's Day

First Nap in Her Crib